Autism Never Takes a Vacation

Autism doesn't take a day off even when you take it on a nice vacation retreat for families WITH autism. It hangs around to make sure you remember it's there, in frustrating and upsetting ways.

For instance, we visited Fort Frederica while we were there, which is British fort from pre-revolutionary days. It's pretty interesting, they've marked the entire encampment out with street signs and the foundations of many buildings are there. It was, in fact, a small town. So while we were being mesmerized by history, Miles was asked to quit pulling on his sock , as he's been ripping holes in his socks every day.

And it was on.

For you see when the mood strikes, Miles cannot be told no. To hear NO is to hear that which destroys his sense of self and also kills all past and present puppies. I have to assume this is how he translates it, based on the tantrum that erupts. Our time at the fort was then punctuated by screaming and crying, and stomping, and his newest trick, scratching himself.

So while these two contemplated blowing up a sailboat in the inlet, Miles stomped and cried and was determined not to do what we were doing.

He stomped and cried around the ruins of His Majesty's magazine while we looked at the cannon and the view of the ruins. He wasn't going to have fun. We couldn't make him. He wasn't going to be made to enjoy this place. And he made sure it was difficult for us to enjoy.

You see that's autism. Irrational responses are par for the course. You might get 100 awesome, traditional responses from "Hey sweetie don't pull on your sock." But when you hit 101 you get a child who cannot be reasoned with, who gets further and further into the fit when you try to reason with him. Miles has nearly perfect receptive language skills, he understands everything that is said to him. But something goes wrong with how his brain processes responses, very often. It takes a toll on your patience, I admit.

While these two walked on the ruins (probably not supposed to, I dunno), and Charlie just held hands and looked around, Miles stomped his way toward the the exit as we finished our visit. The best trick, often, is to use EXTINCTION. We just stop paying any attention to him. Sometimes it doesn't work, especially lately, and he ratchets up the screaming and scratching until you really do have to intervene for his own sake. Sometimes though, if you just ignore him long enough, the tantrum runs it's course.

At that point, his baby sister is often the best medicine, as she will tell us he is her hunnybunny and takes him in hand.

By the time we get to the exit, whatever episode was happening, THE SOCK INCIDENT I'll call it, is over. They've held hands and giggled all the way through the rest of the fort.

Sometimes I think people don't realize that we have so much go on in the way of meltdowns and tantrums even when we are out. That's probably because I don't share them that often, as I want to remember the happy moments. But in fairness to all the autism parents out there, I felt like I needed to share that even though there may be a scene of epic proportions, we still GO.

And so should you.
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Autism Never Takes a Vacation

Autism doesn't take a day off even when you take it on a nice vacation retreat for families WITH autism. It hangs around to make sure you remember it's there, in frustrating and upsetting ways.

For instance, we visited Fort Frederica while we were there, which is British fort from pre-revolutionary days. It's pretty interesting, they've marked the entire encampment out with street signs and the foundations of many buildings are there. It was, in fact, a small town. So while we were being mesmerized by history, Miles was asked to quit pulling on his sock , as he's been ripping holes in his socks every day.

And it was on.

For you see when the mood strikes, Miles cannot be told no. To hear NO is to hear that which destroys his sense of self and also kills all past and present puppies. I have to assume this is how he translates it, based on the tantrum that erupts. Our time at the fort was then punctuated by screaming and crying, and stomping, and his newest trick, scratching himself.

So while these two contemplated blowing up a sailboat in the inlet, Miles stomped and cried and was determined not to do what we were doing.

He stomped and cried around the ruins of His Majesty's magazine while we looked at the cannon and the view of the ruins. He wasn't going to have fun. We couldn't make him. He wasn't going to be made to enjoy this place. And he made sure it was difficult for us to enjoy.

You see that's autism. Irrational responses are par for the course. You might get 100 awesome, traditional responses from "Hey sweetie don't pull on your sock." But when you hit 101 you get a child who cannot be reasoned with, who gets further and further into the fit when you try to reason with him. Miles has nearly perfect receptive language skills, he understands everything that is said to him. But something goes wrong with how his brain processes responses, very often. It takes a toll on your patience, I admit.

While these two walked on the ruins (probably not supposed to, I dunno), and Charlie just held hands and looked around, Miles stomped his way toward the the exit as we finished our visit. The best trick, often, is to use EXTINCTION. We just stop paying any attention to him. Sometimes it doesn't work, especially lately, and he ratchets up the screaming and scratching until you really do have to intervene for his own sake. Sometimes though, if you just ignore him long enough, the tantrum runs it's course.

At that point, his baby sister is often the best medicine, as she will tell us he is her hunnybunny and takes him in hand.

By the time we get to the exit, whatever episode was happening, THE SOCK INCIDENT I'll call it, is over. They've held hands and giggled all the way through the rest of the fort.

Sometimes I think people don't realize that we have so much go on in the way of meltdowns and tantrums even when we are out. That's probably because I don't share them that often, as I want to remember the happy moments. But in fairness to all the autism parents out there, I felt like I needed to share that even though there may be a scene of epic proportions, we still GO.

And so should you.
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Water Babies

 I wasn't brought up going to the coast of the proper Atlantic for vacation. In my childhood, the Gulf of Mexico (which is the kinder gentler Atlantic Ocean) was where you vacationed. I think I've always had a serious bias toward the white sands and crystal blue waters of the gulf. Mentally, I felt like the Atlantic was rough (not as rough as the Pacific OF COURSE as they say) but just not a beach or ocean I'd CHOOSE. I have now vacationed on the Atlantic three times in my 45 years and my bias is definitely shifting. At least it's neutralizing. Maybe it was just watching the insane fun four children can have on ANY beach that has melted my heart.

 We learned that the tide there goes out incredibly far, a ridiculous drop in tide of 9-12 feet. It didn't matter though. We just kept walking out to it, chasing the surf, which wasn't rough at all thanks to the tide, and swimming in the water.

 The girl had been afraid of "sea crabs" as she called them. She told me that they would pinch her toes, and that her toes had bones in them. She asked me to please protect her from sea crabs, which I agreed to do. Luckily there was no toe pinching. We did torture some clams by digging them up and then lobbing them back into the ocean. Sorry clams, EVOLVE.

 We missed lunch because we were at the beach too long, so we decided why not check out this little bakery called SMALLCAKES.  We ate giant cupcakes and called that lunch.

 That's valid vacation lunch I'm pretty sure.

 After dinner was done, we decided to make one more vacation based decision and head out to a local ice cream shop called Moo Cow. I had salted caramel, the kids had various chocolate or vanilla and the husband had the WINNER which was a peach. His was absolute best. My son ordered a blue drink also, which made me love him because I LOVE BLUE DRINKS. I have a whole pinterest board dedicated to blue drinks, if that tells you how much I love them.

One of my favorite treats from this place were the Boylan's sodas we tried. The birch beer was a really delicious take on root beer, and the Shirley Temple was was more crisp than expected. The Shirley Temple's of my childhood were syrupy sweet. Thinking of this makes me want to make them for my kids.

We collapsed in bed and slept like the dead. Vacation exhaustion is awesome.

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Water Babies

 I wasn't brought up going to the coast of the proper Atlantic for vacation. In my childhood, the Gulf of Mexico (which is the kinder gentler Atlantic Ocean) was where you vacationed. I think I've always had a serious bias toward the white sands and crystal blue waters of the gulf. Mentally, I felt like the Atlantic was rough (not as rough as the Pacific OF COURSE as they say) but just not a beach or ocean I'd CHOOSE. I have now vacationed on the Atlantic three times in my 45 years and my bias is definitely shifting. At least it's neutralizing. Maybe it was just watching the insane fun four children can have on ANY beach that has melted my heart.

 We learned that the tide there goes out incredibly far, a ridiculous drop in tide of 9-12 feet. It didn't matter though. We just kept walking out to it, chasing the surf, which wasn't rough at all thanks to the tide, and swimming in the water.

 The girl had been afraid of "sea crabs" as she called them. She told me that they would pinch her toes, and that her toes had bones in them. She asked me to please protect her from sea crabs, which I agreed to do. Luckily there was no toe pinching. We did torture some clams by digging them up and then lobbing them back into the ocean. Sorry clams, EVOLVE.

 We missed lunch because we were at the beach too long, so we decided why not check out this little bakery called SMALLCAKES.  We ate giant cupcakes and called that lunch.

 That's valid vacation lunch I'm pretty sure.

 After dinner was done, we decided to make one more vacation based decision and head out to a local ice cream shop called Moo Cow. I had salted caramel, the kids had various chocolate or vanilla and the husband had the WINNER which was a peach. His was absolute best. My son ordered a blue drink also, which made me love him because I LOVE BLUE DRINKS. I have a whole pinterest board dedicated to blue drinks, if that tells you how much I love them.

One of my favorite treats from this place were the Boylan's sodas we tried. The birch beer was a really delicious take on root beer, and the Shirley Temple was was more crisp than expected. The Shirley Temple's of my childhood were syrupy sweet. Thinking of this makes me want to make them for my kids.

We collapsed in bed and slept like the dead. Vacation exhaustion is awesome.

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A Very Special Vacation

We were given a very special opportunity as a Special Needs Family this past weekend. A group called Developmentally Disabled Ministries puts on a family retreat and it was at Saint Simon's Island from Thursday to Sunday. We were fortunate enough to be invited to attend. So we loaded up the van and drove to the coast.

We enjoyed a long and kind of boring drive down. The kids mostly didn't fight in the back, although at one point we had to separate Miles and Charlie, as when Miles gets bored or frustrated Charlie is his favorite target. The directions to get to Saint Simons are easy - drive to Savannah then head south down the coast.

Despite how tempting this was, we decided to forego this amazing $1 attraction.

It was only about five and a half hours, give or take, to get there, but I think the long stretch on I16 of long uninterrupted Georgia pine become mind numbing for everyone. We were exhausted by the time we got there to check in.

Not too exhausted to run to the pier though.

We arrived just in time for a beautiful sunset, and even the twins seemed relieved to be there. The warm breeze off of the Atlantic was so relaxing and wonderful. We were all excited to see what the weekend had in store for us.

As it was too late for the group dinner we went to find adventure in the village and found a really cute restaurant with the best shrimp on the island (according to some contest we cannot verify). It was, however, an amazing seafood meal. Nothing wasn't delicious - except the coleslaw, according to my husband. He found the coleslaw to be very average. Oh well, you can't be good at everything.

The sharks hanging from the ceiling were about the coolest thing the girl had ever seen. Despite being an amazing seafood restaurant, the girl chose macaroni and cheese, and oranges. I don't know where she gets it. (My mother knows exactly where she gets it.)

Even being exhausted, an amazing meal on the island, gorgeous sunset and relief at having arrived were a perfect start to our four days of adventure. I even had a cocktail at dinner just to mark the occasion.

My stomach then reminded me that it doesn't allow me to drink liquor in a riot of pain and suffering when we got back to the hotel. I lived but it was a good reminder. The delicious taste wasn't worth the pain, I assure you.

We were kind of sad to have to sleep in two rooms with no adjoining door - rather we were next door to one another. It was OK, but we were sad sleeping apart. It doesn't feel quite right when we aren't all together.

Regardless, we were on an island and excitement awaited. I couldn't wait for the next day.
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A Very Special Vacation

We were given a very special opportunity as a Special Needs Family this past weekend. A group called Developmentally Disabled Ministries puts on a family retreat and it was at Saint Simon's Island from Thursday to Sunday. We were fortunate enough to be invited to attend. So we loaded up the van and drove to the coast.

We enjoyed a long and kind of boring drive down. The kids mostly didn't fight in the back, although at one point we had to separate Miles and Charlie, as when Miles gets bored or frustrated Charlie is his favorite target. The directions to get to Saint Simons are easy - drive to Savannah then head south down the coast.

Despite how tempting this was, we decided to forego this amazing $1 attraction.

It was only about five and a half hours, give or take, to get there, but I think the long stretch on I16 of long uninterrupted Georgia pine become mind numbing for everyone. We were exhausted by the time we got there to check in.

Not too exhausted to run to the pier though.

We arrived just in time for a beautiful sunset, and even the twins seemed relieved to be there. The warm breeze off of the Atlantic was so relaxing and wonderful. We were all excited to see what the weekend had in store for us.

As it was too late for the group dinner we went to find adventure in the village and found a really cute restaurant with the best shrimp on the island (according to some contest we cannot verify). It was, however, an amazing seafood meal. Nothing wasn't delicious - except the coleslaw, according to my husband. He found the coleslaw to be very average. Oh well, you can't be good at everything.

The sharks hanging from the ceiling were about the coolest thing the girl had ever seen. Despite being an amazing seafood restaurant, the girl chose macaroni and cheese, and oranges. I don't know where she gets it. (My mother knows exactly where she gets it.)

Even being exhausted, an amazing meal on the island, gorgeous sunset and relief at having arrived were a perfect start to our four days of adventure. I even had a cocktail at dinner just to mark the occasion.

My stomach then reminded me that it doesn't allow me to drink liquor in a riot of pain and suffering when we got back to the hotel. I lived but it was a good reminder. The delicious taste wasn't worth the pain, I assure you.

We were kind of sad to have to sleep in two rooms with no adjoining door - rather we were next door to one another. It was OK, but we were sad sleeping apart. It doesn't feel quite right when we aren't all together.

Regardless, we were on an island and excitement awaited. I couldn't wait for the next day.
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Doing Local Touristy Stuff

We drove up the road just a little bit to the local Mayfield Dairy bottling facility, where they bottle milk of all sorts. It was a fun short little adventure, and not something any of us had seen before. First of all, we had to wear HAIRNETS!

But we did get to pretend to milk a cow, so that made it all worth it.

All in all I think they did a pretty good job of convincing us that we need to be drinking Mayfield milk, so well done. And for the price of admission, we got free ice cream when it was over!

We weren't sure how the twins would take to the hairnets, but they saw everyone else doing it, and despite a minor amount of protest, got on board that this was what we were going to do. And the ice cream at the end probably made it all worth while.

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Doing Local Touristy Stuff

We drove up the road just a little bit to the local Mayfield Dairy bottling facility, where they bottle milk of all sorts. It was a fun short little adventure, and not something any of us had seen before. First of all, we had to wear HAIRNETS!

But we did get to pretend to milk a cow, so that made it all worth it.

All in all I think they did a pretty good job of convincing us that we need to be drinking Mayfield milk, so well done. And for the price of admission, we got free ice cream when it was over!

We weren't sure how the twins would take to the hairnets, but they saw everyone else doing it, and despite a minor amount of protest, got on board that this was what we were going to do. And the ice cream at the end probably made it all worth while.

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