A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.
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Thursday, March 29, 2012

Deconstructing Santa

Every holiday season we get these novelty candies and don't do anything with them. Well, I am all PMSY (seriously I cried about nothing earlier and I'm ovulating or something so hormones  = WHACKED) so I thought to myself, "SELF, we should make some brownies. But they need something! What do they need? MARSHMALLOW SANTA!"
So I got my best girl...
and introduced her to the family tradition of standing on a chair to help stir the batter.

Then I pulled Santa apart and inserted him into all of the sections of the brownie pan. MEET YOUR FATE FAT MAN!
I may eat these all before the oldest boy and his father get home from soccer.

I'm just sayin.
Marshamallow Chocolate Fudge Brownies, FOR THE WIN!

Remember That Time I Had a Heart Attack?

Neither do I.

Well and that's overly dramatic, because they're not sure what exactly is going on. But I was being a responsible adult yesterday and having a physical with my general physician and as they are doing my EKG he FROWNS.
Then he looks at me, and back at the paper and says, "Have you been having chest pains?"

Ummmm. No.

He then says they are going to run the EKG for a few more minutes, have me lie down part of the time, have me sit up part of the time, all the while he is frowning.

Then he shows it to me.

You know how your heart beat on the EKG paper goes UP UP UP in beats? One of mine goes down. Which is bizarre. It's also a change from my last EKG which he pulled out of my file. So something has changed.

I looked it up, and it's either indicative that I had a heart attack, might have a heart attack or it's benign and means nothing at all. On many levels, that's just like everyone else on the planet.

But I'm kind of disconcerted for sure.

Next we'll do a stress test and figure out if I need to do more tests after that.

Stupid mortality. Stop knocking at my door. I got four tiny humans and one big one who need me.


Sunday, March 25, 2012

Relaxed Sunday

Very

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

All Those Years Spent In Bars? NOT WASTED!

So the oldest boy had a school dance on Friday Night, and I got to be his date.
Yeah that's my kid mid-shufflebot. It was sort of ridiculous fun actually. The first of many dances at school and probably one of the last he'll ever want to go to with me. I might have a few more years, but even at the age of nine, you can see it beginning.
I mean, he did dance with his buddies and the principal for a while.
But before the evening was over, even a nine year old boy knew where it was at - dancing with the girls.
It was kind of cute, watching the little courtship rituals forming, boys dancing with boys, girls dancing with girls and then the occasional brave cross over. It was funny though because they'd dance to random songs in mixed groups but when it was a song they all knew, they'd run back to their friends to jump and dance.
These boys right here? They're sexy and they know it. I would say that watching 9 year olds do the WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE part of the dance (and yeah, they knew what that was about) was the best part of the evening because it was in fact hilarious, but that'd be a lie.
Because OBVIOUSLY the best part of the night was when I won the ChaCha Slide DANCE CONTEST!

As my son keeps asking "MOMMY HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS SONG?????"

Well it wasn't hanging out and doing shots almost every night for years, in bars. No. I'm sure that wasn't it.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Sunday in Elachee

We spent Sunday up north wandering the trails of the Elachee forest. It was a gorgeous day and it seems like spring is finally here. I am so glad, winter made my brain sluggish.

I am also testing out mobile blogger. Fancy eh?

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Because I'm THAT Mom

The first problem with parent teacher conferences in my world is that I come from a family of teachers. This immediately has an upside and a downside. The upside is that I totally respect you and that what you do isn't easy. The downside is, I know you aren't a deity and are just as fallible as the next person.
This means I generally talk to you like you're any person I might meet, instead of like some figurehead of an institution like PUBLIC EDUCATION.

I went to the oldest boy's parent teacher conference, where the youngsters who are teaching him beamed at me with radiant faces and went on and on and on about how smart he is. Yeah I know he's smart. He makes me nuts. I also gave him good DNA. So you know, we're clear. They didn't have much constructive FEEDBACK though, I had to keep asking "So what do we need to work on?" and FINALLY they got around to the fact that the boy would rather read NONFICTION or "Star Wars" books than to read any other genre.

To remedy this, they are doing this little book club deal, where they assign a book and then the group has to read it and do discussions. To challenge them, they are making them read books outside their comfort zone. I GET this concept. We all had to read THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA, and THE RED BADGE OR COURAGE or whatever hell they put you through at your school. I think THE CRUCIBLE is standard in most  American Schools (in my class, we did a great Tituba voice and liked to quote the Crucible in everyday conversation cuz that shit was HILARIOUS).

For my son's little reading group, all male, they are having them read, Sarah, Plain and Tall.

It's at this point that the information in my first paragraph comes in to play.

I burst out laughing, "But that book SUCKS."

Yeah. i'm THAT Mom.