A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

So THAT is what those are for!

This post is about menstruation. I say this up front, to warn off all the men who fear it and all it implies.....
I should start by saying, without being TOO graphic, that my entire life of menstruation has been one of intense pain and exceedingly heavy bleeding. Since I was about 11 years old or so, it hasn't been unusual for me to miss school, miss work etc because I'm nearly bleeding to death and I'm in so much pain I can't see straight, much less get out of bed. The invention of over the counter ibuprofen allowed me to get out of bed and function, but it still did nothing to lessen the need for a full size MATTRESS to be strapped into my underpants once a month for a week. As I got older, it increased to a tampon AND a mattress.
Having my period was an incredibly painful and uncomfortable thing..........for like 26 years.
Since I got this IUD I had one really long weird period and now I get these really annoying ANTIperiods. I need a pad for like, 10 minutes out of any day during my "cycle", maybe five minutes. So I'm all annoyed, walking around wearing my mattress and having it be - well, CLEAN most of the day, or I'm not wearing it and then BLAMMO my five minutes occurs and my underwear is stained.
I was grumbling about to to my husband, who hit me with an idea that I had never considered.
Why didn't I just buy minipads or something?

Minipads? What the hell? they DO make Minipads.....don't they? Hell I could probably wear a PANTI LINER! I've never, in 26 years of woman hood purchased anything that wasn't the slamma jamma wingdang monstro super pad. Anything else was an invitation to DISASTER.

I am intrigued by this new concept. Minipads.

My goodness, I'll feel DAINTY!


Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Oh, hell yeah. Pantiliners rule.

christa said...

oh, how i envy you. since my IUD was installed my periods have been FAR heavier and FAR crampier. (to the point where i can use up to 4 super-plus tampons a day, backed up with a pantiiner just in case.)

i'm getting the IUD out next week.

Frank said...

Slamma jamma wingdang monstro super pad? Sounds like Shaft's place.

Heidi said...

Christa -

I had the same problem. Welcome to the hemorrhage that was my period after I got an IUD.

However, I think Bridgette probably has the Mirena, which emits (I guess that's the word I want) a very small dose of hormones (smaller because it is at the source, rather than a pill), and this would have the same probable effect for you, very short periods, minimal cramping, etc.

I had my IUD removed, it was NOT the Mirena, had no hormones - because it was hideous! I felt like a stuck pig every month. Longer, heavier, crampier periods.


So, if you like the IUD method (I did, I just never went back and got the Mirena because we might have more kids, and if so, I didn't want to bother having to have it removed in a relatively short period of time), that would be a better option.

Okay, probably too much info, and yes, guys, women really DO talk about this stuff. But I have NEVER had a discussion about a 'not so fresh feeling', I swear!