With Tornado Sirens Unheeded...A Hoosier Wonders...

It's been storming here all day. Not the big rolling Midwestern storms of my childhood but the red blobs of doom that come across from Alabama, drop down too much rain at once and do their thunder dance and move on.
I had an appointment today during the midst of the whole thing, so I consulted radar and managed with some luck to travel in between the red blobs occurring.

After my appointment was said and done I traveled back to the northeast corner of the metro that I call home, crawling in the massive lemming march that is the Atlanta commute and occasionally hit my wipers. The storm. it seemed, had passed. The highway was steaming from the temperature change and the commuters were inconvenienced with puddles of water. I didn't think much about it as I was pretty sure the worst had come and gone.

Alabama never sends over nice weather. Always with the storms.

I stopped for gasoline and as I watched the numbers rise on the pump I heard a familiar drone in the distance. It wasn't close, but it was unmistakable.

Tornado siren.

I looked around. The clouds were grey, moving fast but nothing ominous. No squall line, certainly no rotation. The wind was gentle, the drizzle was light. There was nothing the made me feel concern except this sound coming from the west - the direction of Alabama that great bringer of storms.

If you grew up in the midwest you know this sound. It means run for cover. When we were kids it meant some yokel had SEEN A TWISTER and had called the sheriff, whom they called directly we didn't have this fancy 911 business. We didn't have radar that immediately sounded the sirens when rotation was detected. We didn't have WARNINGS. We had OH MY GOD THERE IS A TORNADO RUN RUN RUN sirens. If the sirens went off, it was on and you better get your ass to a basement.

Fast.

Southwest corner, by the way. That's the corner of the room you go to. Also put your shoes on, because there will be debris on the ground afterward and it will cut the SHIT out of your feet and you will thank me for it. JUST PUT THEM ON.

Now, I stood there, pumping gas, listening to the klaxon of doom from my childhood, the sound that I had been hardwired to hear and immediately seek cover - and I just kept pumping gas. I checked my phone, no alerts. No warnings. I get tornado warnings immediately they are pushed to my phone.

I asked a man pumping gas "Is that a tornado siren?" He said "Oh is that what that is? I wondered."

I sighed and shook my head. I am sure that in the event of an earthquake I'd be doing it all wrong and people from earthquake-land would sigh and shake their head at me. We grow up in places and we learn the dangers of THOSE places and we learn them well. It's a bit of climate related social darwinism but it works, we learn the dangers and adapt.

I just know that it's 2016 and I just spoke to an adult man who didn't recognize a tornado siren and that scares me a little.

I'm also wondering why that siren was going off.

In my brain I've been calling it "sireen" like my grandma this whole time. Don't tell anyone.

With Tornado Sirens Unheeded...A Hoosier Wonders...

It's been storming here all day. Not the big rolling Midwestern storms of my childhood but the red blobs of doom that come across from Alabama, drop down too much rain at once and do their thunder dance and move on.
I had an appointment today during the midst of the whole thing, so I consulted radar and managed with some luck to travel in between the red blobs occurring.

After my appointment was said and done I traveled back to the northeast corner of the metro that I call home, crawling in the massive lemming march that is the Atlanta commute and occasionally hit my wipers. The storm. it seemed, had passed. The highway was steaming from the temperature change and the commuters were inconvenienced with puddles of water. I didn't think much about it as I was pretty sure the worst had come and gone.

Alabama never sends over nice weather. Always with the storms.

I stopped for gasoline and as I watched the numbers rise on the pump I heard a familiar drone in the distance. It wasn't close, but it was unmistakable.

Tornado siren.

I looked around. The clouds were grey, moving fast but nothing ominous. No squall line, certainly no rotation. The wind was gentle, the drizzle was light. There was nothing the made me feel concern except this sound coming from the west - the direction of Alabama that great bringer of storms.

If you grew up in the midwest you know this sound. It means run for cover. When we were kids it meant some yokel had SEEN A TWISTER and had called the sheriff, whom they called directly we didn't have this fancy 911 business. We didn't have radar that immediately sounded the sirens when rotation was detected. We didn't have WARNINGS. We had OH MY GOD THERE IS A TORNADO RUN RUN RUN sirens. If the sirens went off, it was on and you better get your ass to a basement.

Fast.

Southwest corner, by the way. That's the corner of the room you go to. Also put your shoes on, because there will be debris on the ground afterward and it will cut the SHIT out of your feet and you will thank me for it. JUST PUT THEM ON.

Now, I stood there, pumping gas, listening to the klaxon of doom from my childhood, the sound that I had been hardwired to hear and immediately seek cover - and I just kept pumping gas. I checked my phone, no alerts. No warnings. I get tornado warnings immediately they are pushed to my phone.

I asked a man pumping gas "Is that a tornado siren?" He said "Oh is that what that is? I wondered."

I sighed and shook my head. I am sure that in the event of an earthquake I'd be doing it all wrong and people from earthquake-land would sigh and shake their head at me. We grow up in places and we learn the dangers of THOSE places and we learn them well. It's a bit of climate related social darwinism but it works, we learn the dangers and adapt.

I just know that it's 2016 and I just spoke to an adult man who didn't recognize a tornado siren and that scares me a little.

I'm also wondering why that siren was going off.

In my brain I've been calling it "sireen" like my grandma this whole time. Don't tell anyone.

With Tornado Sirens Unheeded...A Hoosier Wonders...

It's been storming here all day. Not the big rolling Midwestern storms of my childhood but the red blobs of doom that come across from Alabama, drop down too much rain at once and do their thunder dance and move on.
I had an appointment today during the midst of the whole thing, so I consulted radar and managed with some luck to travel in between the red blobs occurring.

After my appointment was said and done I traveled back to the northeast corner of the metro that I call home, crawling in the massive lemming march that is the Atlanta commute and occasionally hit my wipers. The storm. it seemed, had passed. The highway was steaming from the temperature change and the commuters were inconvenienced with puddles of water. I didn't think much about it as I was pretty sure the worst had come and gone.

Alabama never sends over nice weather. Always with the storms.

I stopped for gasoline and as I watched the numbers rise on the pump I heard a familiar drone in the distance. It wasn't close, but it was unmistakable.

Tornado siren.

I looked around. The clouds were grey, moving fast but nothing ominous. No squall line, certainly no rotation. The wind was gentle, the drizzle was light. There was nothing the made me feel concern except this sound coming from the west - the direction of Alabama that great bringer of storms.

If you grew up in the midwest you know this sound. It means run for cover. When we were kids it meant some yokel had SEEN A TWISTER and had called the sheriff, whom they called directly we didn't have this fancy 911 business. We didn't have radar that immediately sounded the sirens when rotation was detected. We didn't have WARNINGS. We had OH MY GOD THERE IS A TORNADO RUN RUN RUN sirens. If the sirens went off, it was on and you better get your ass to a basement.

Fast.

Southwest corner, by the way. That's the corner of the room you go to. Also put your shoes on, because there will be debris on the ground afterward and it will cut the SHIT out of your feet and you will thank me for it. JUST PUT THEM ON.

Now, I stood there, pumping gas, listening to the klaxon of doom from my childhood, the sound that I had been hardwired to hear and immediately seek cover - and I just kept pumping gas. I checked my phone, no alerts. No warnings. I get tornado warnings immediately they are pushed to my phone.

I asked a man pumping gas "Is that a tornado siren?" He said "Oh is that what that is? I wondered."

I sighed and shook my head. I am sure that in the event of an earthquake I'd be doing it all wrong and people from earthquake-land would sigh and shake their head at me. We grow up in places and we learn the dangers of THOSE places and we learn them well. It's a bit of climate related social darwinism but it works, we learn the dangers and adapt.

I just know that it's 2016 and I just spoke to an adult man who didn't recognize a tornado siren and that scares me a little.

I'm also wondering why that siren was going off.

In my brain I've been calling it "sireen" like my grandma this whole time. Don't tell anyone.

Lazy Days and Free Time

I've cut myself down to one cup of coffee a day. My children, however, are still 2 cup a day kids. So despite my own efforts to reduce my caffeine intake, they will pester me until I make a second or today THIRD cup. I get a sip or two and the three little ones steal it without apology. I don't even mind. They get pretty happy thinking they are stealing drinks, and it amuses me a little.
I wasted my day today doing a lot of nothing. I watched part of a movie I had barely heard of, all myself in the EARLY AM, and then spent the rest of the day either playing video games or playing with the kids.
I also napped. Did I mention the nap? The nap was amazing.

It rained and poured and it's going to do that all night. My accomplishment is that I emptied the dishwasher. I also accidentally erased a family in the Sims4 that I just spent three days creating. Oh well I'll do it all again and this time the dad won't die of shame from peeing his pants (maybe).

I didn't get anything productive done.

This was a pretty good day.
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Lazy Days and Free Time

I've cut myself down to one cup of coffee a day. My children, however, are still 2 cup a day kids. So despite my own efforts to reduce my caffeine intake, they will pester me until I make a second or today THIRD cup. I get a sip or two and the three little ones steal it without apology. I don't even mind. They get pretty happy thinking they are stealing drinks, and it amuses me a little.
I wasted my day today doing a lot of nothing. I watched part of a movie I had barely heard of, all myself in the EARLY AM, and then spent the rest of the day either playing video games or playing with the kids.
I also napped. Did I mention the nap? The nap was amazing.

It rained and poured and it's going to do that all night. My accomplishment is that I emptied the dishwasher. I also accidentally erased a family in the Sims4 that I just spent three days creating. Oh well I'll do it all again and this time the dad won't die of shame from peeing his pants (maybe).

I didn't get anything productive done.

This was a pretty good day.
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Thump Thump Womp Clomp Thump

First it was a helicopter. A strange helicopter. I didn't understand why it kept coming back. My mind wandered over the sound, was someone in the woods? Were they tracking someone? My husband was awake could hear the sounds of him being awake. The sound went away and I went back to sleep.

Then, a back hoe. There was someone doing some sort of construction something or other. It was night still. I could hear it plainly though, this sound, the sound of slamming against metal, something was happening outside. My husband had come to bed by now. I struggled to wake up, to identify it. It was still dark.

I wondered if something was at the water treatment plant, maybe sound was carrying due to the atmosphere being weird.

I fell back asleep.

The helicopter came back. Then it left. It was nearly time to wake up, but I heard it, at a distance, this sound, a whirring and pounding. I could not hear it in the bathroom, but it was so clear in the hallway. Something pounding, thumping, at 6:30 am.

I wandered down to the laundry room to look for shorts - and found my drying whirring and pounding - because my husband's shoes were in it, they got soaked yesterday and he had to wash and dry them.

Not a back hoe, not a helicopter.

Shoes. In a dryer.

Mystery solved.


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Thump Thump Womp Clomp Thump

First it was a helicopter. A strange helicopter. I didn't understand why it kept coming back. My mind wandered over the sound, was someone in the woods? Were they tracking someone? My husband was awake could hear the sounds of him being awake. The sound went away and I went back to sleep.

Then, a back hoe. There was someone doing some sort of construction something or other. It was night still. I could hear it plainly though, this sound, the sound of slamming against metal, something was happening outside. My husband had come to bed by now. I struggled to wake up, to identify it. It was still dark.

I wondered if something was at the water treatment plant, maybe sound was carrying due to the atmosphere being weird.

I fell back asleep.

The helicopter came back. Then it left. It was nearly time to wake up, but I heard it, at a distance, this sound, a whirring and pounding. I could not hear it in the bathroom, but it was so clear in the hallway. Something pounding, thumping, at 6:30 am.

I wandered down to the laundry room to look for shorts - and found my drying whirring and pounding - because my husband's shoes were in it, they got soaked yesterday and he had to wash and dry them.

Not a back hoe, not a helicopter.

Shoes. In a dryer.

Mystery solved.


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The Creek Indians LOVED The 404

I sat staring at this Facebook update from my local news station for a moment while drinking my early morning coffee, pondering what was wrong with what I was reading.

So, if what I'm reading is right we've been using that 404 area code in Atlanta for 60 decades. That's 600 years folks.

I remember 1413 like it was yesterday. Henry the 5th took the throne in England. The university of St Andrews was chartered by a papal bull.

And Georgia, a state that didn't exist, began using the 404 area code.

Seriously. Somebody at WSB have another cup of coffee and ask someone for a quick edit before you post. You just look silly.

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The Creek Indians LOVED The 404

I sat staring at this Facebook update from my local news station for a moment while drinking my early morning coffee, pondering what was wrong with what I was reading.

So, if what I'm reading is right we've been using that 404 area code in Atlanta for 60 decades. That's 600 years folks.

I remember 1413 like it was yesterday. Henry the 5th took the throne in England. The university of St Andrews was chartered by a papal bull.

And Georgia, a state that didn't exist, began using the 404 area code.

Seriously. Somebody at WSB have another cup of coffee and ask someone for a quick edit before you post. You just look silly.

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130 Dollar Pillows

I learned once that nice sheets really do make a difference. I didn't know this. I was a cheapie 250 thread count girl in my twenties because EH sheets are sheets. NO. Sheets are not sheets. Cheap sheets are cheap sheets and NICE sheets are nice sheets.

I learned my thread count tolerance is 400 and if I have less than that, I'm like the princess and the pea. It's definitely a #FIRSTWORLDPROBLEM but I don't even care.

This week we had to buy a twin bed for Louis. He was sleeping in the top bunk bed which had no box spring and he's a great big guy going into fifth grade this year so we figured he really needed a good supportive bed. While we were picking out his mattress my husband spied these PILLOWS.

They were expensive as hell. Again, I'm all about FUNCTION and so we've always bought more reasonably priced pillows that worked. However, we've both also slept on two pillows for 15 years. 

That seemed like a lot of money for pillows to me. However, the husband has very painful arthritis and trouble sleeping so, I'm all for anything that helps. So we bought them.

First of all they're heavy. I'd say more than five pounds. At least more than you'd expect from a pillow. They are "weird squishy" because they are memory foam. They also have a layer of "cooling" gel on the top which is purple and feels very odd. It is, however, QUITE cool to the touch. It comes with a  protective sleeve and then your pillow case goes over that.

My first night, the first thing I realized was I didn't need my second pillow, so onto the floor it went. 

Then I settled into the thing. It was like this in my mind

• This is weird
• Odd,squishy
• Smooshy, strange too hard
• I'm sinking
• Oooooo this is niiiiiiiiiiiiiice

I slept like a divine princess and couldn't wait to lay back down on them tonight. They are the most comforting, comfortable, and amazing pillows I've ever used.

Of course, my husband hates them.

As my old German teacher used to say - typisch !

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130 Dollar Pillows

I learned once that nice sheets really do make a difference. I didn't know this. I was a cheapie 250 thread count girl in my twenties because EH sheets are sheets. NO. Sheets are not sheets. Cheap sheets are cheap sheets and NICE sheets are nice sheets.

I learned my thread count tolerance is 400 and if I have less than that, I'm like the princess and the pea. It's definitely a #FIRSTWORLDPROBLEM but I don't even care.

This week we had to buy a twin bed for Louis. He was sleeping in the top bunk bed which had no box spring and he's a great big guy going into fifth grade this year so we figured he really needed a good supportive bed. While we were picking out his mattress my husband spied these PILLOWS.

They were expensive as hell. Again, I'm all about FUNCTION and so we've always bought more reasonably priced pillows that worked. However, we've both also slept on two pillows for 15 years. 

That seemed like a lot of money for pillows to me. However, the husband has very painful arthritis and trouble sleeping so, I'm all for anything that helps. So we bought them.

First of all they're heavy. I'd say more than five pounds. At least more than you'd expect from a pillow. They are "weird squishy" because they are memory foam. They also have a layer of "cooling" gel on the top which is purple and feels very odd. It is, however, QUITE cool to the touch. It comes with a  protective sleeve and then your pillow case goes over that.

My first night, the first thing I realized was I didn't need my second pillow, so onto the floor it went. 

Then I settled into the thing. It was like this in my mind

• This is weird
• Odd,squishy
• Smooshy, strange too hard
• I'm sinking
• Oooooo this is niiiiiiiiiiiiiice

I slept like a divine princess and couldn't wait to lay back down on them tonight. They are the most comforting, comfortable, and amazing pillows I've ever used.

Of course, my husband hates them.

As my old German teacher used to say - typisch !

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Adventure, One Soda Pop At A Time

My friend at worked had picked up this exotic soda somewhere and could not get anyone else at work to try it. This is apparently the only indigenous soda drink made in India. And it is SUPPOSED to taste like alcohol but have no alcohol in it. It was originally called Whiskey No and this apparently appealed to people.

My friend from work was who I went into the city in NY with and had adventurous dinner in China Town.. So he knew I'd at least try it.

What he might not have known is, I'd make my kid try it first. 

But that wasn't completely fair. So, I did try it. Luckily, my husband took a lot of pictures as I enjoyed this tasty beverage.

It tastes a bit like vanilla coke with rum and vomit.

What's even more sick, after a few drinks, you want more drinks.

Sorcery.

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Adventure, One Soda Pop At A Time

My friend at worked had picked up this exotic soda somewhere and could not get anyone else at work to try it. This is apparently the only indigenous soda drink made in India. And it is SUPPOSED to taste like alcohol but have no alcohol in it. It was originally called Whiskey No and this apparently appealed to people.

My friend from work was who I went into the city in NY with and had adventurous dinner in China Town.. So he knew I'd at least try it.

What he might not have known is, I'd make my kid try it first. 

But that wasn't completely fair. So, I did try it. Luckily, my husband took a lot of pictures as I enjoyed this tasty beverage.

It tastes a bit like vanilla coke with rum and vomit.

What's even more sick, after a few drinks, you want more drinks.

Sorcery.

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The Festival Of Deep Fried Foods on Sticks

There isn't anything better than fair time, because the ridiculous new foods and the old favorites are there for mass consumption and enjoyment of all. We like the animals, we like the rides, but really when it all comes down to it, we're there for the festival of EAT.

We ended our day this year with deep fried Milky Way - which is now a staple rather than nouveau, and something different - deep fried Pecan Pie. I give the pecan pie a B, it wasn't completely done, and although it was still good because the pie inside was cooked, it was cold in one small spot.

But still, pecan pie. WIN.

Roasted corn, accompanied by fresh squeezed lemonade - that I suspect to be Country Time - is also a required staple food. I'm a fan of shaking Parmesan cheese on mine.

The twisted fries are good, especially with baco-bits (NOT bacon, bacon's lesser cousin) and cheese food product from a can.  They're like - this hot potato chips. With fake cheese and fake bacon.

The girl was ecstatic at all the "nummy treats" as she calls them and the fun rides she got to do. She had just finished riding a dinosaur in the above picture, so how can that be bad?

The twins loved it too, if they look a little pensive above - it's because we are sitting next to the speak for the Haunted house. SPOOOOOKY noises are blaring right near us, and they are trying to sort out what it is.

Now that we've been to the fair, fall is landing on us hard. Cold drizzly rain, very chilly mornings, all of these things have started with regularity. I'm glad really. Summer was long and hot. I am ready for some cold.
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The Festival Of Deep Fried Foods on Sticks

There isn't anything better than fair time, because the ridiculous new foods and the old favorites are there for mass consumption and enjoyment of all. We like the animals, we like the rides, but really when it all comes down to it, we're there for the festival of EAT.

We ended our day this year with deep fried Milky Way - which is now a staple rather than nouveau, and something different - deep fried Pecan Pie. I give the pecan pie a B, it wasn't completely done, and although it was still good because the pie inside was cooked, it was cold in one small spot.

But still, pecan pie. WIN.

Roasted corn, accompanied by fresh squeezed lemonade - that I suspect to be Country Time - is also a required staple food. I'm a fan of shaking Parmesan cheese on mine.

The twisted fries are good, especially with baco-bits (NOT bacon, bacon's lesser cousin) and cheese food product from a can.  They're like - this hot potato chips. With fake cheese and fake bacon.

The girl was ecstatic at all the "nummy treats" as she calls them and the fun rides she got to do. She had just finished riding a dinosaur in the above picture, so how can that be bad?

The twins loved it too, if they look a little pensive above - it's because we are sitting next to the speak for the Haunted house. SPOOOOOKY noises are blaring right near us, and they are trying to sort out what it is.

Now that we've been to the fair, fall is landing on us hard. Cold drizzly rain, very chilly mornings, all of these things have started with regularity. I'm glad really. Summer was long and hot. I am ready for some cold.
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I Think The TSA Stole My Face Soap

I signed up for the Target Summer Beauty bag this time around, and I admit, it was pretty awesome. But to me the big win was discovering Aveeno smart essentials daily scrub. It is probably the best facial scrub that my 43 year old face has run into in years. I raved about it on plurk when it came out. So imagine my chagrin when, after having taken it to New York with me that I couldn't FIND it when I returned home.

At first I thought that I had left it in the suitcase I carelessly left unpacked for about two weeks. But then I finally got around to unpacking it and going through my sundry chick bags of this and that to no avail. NO AVEENO CLEANSER.

This was about the time that my husband pointed out the sticker on my suitcase, saying the TSA had opened and inspected my bag.

Those jacks at the TSA who were TOO LAZY TO SIGN UP FOR THE TARGET SUMMER BEAUTY BAG STOLE MY CLEANSER.

What a bunch of jerkwads.

That's fine. I will buy more. TAKE my cleanser you ne'er do well. AND MAY YOU NEVER HAVE A DAY'S LUCK WITH IT!

I've asked Eddard Stark to convey my feelings on this.

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I Think The TSA Stole My Face Soap

I signed up for the Target Summer Beauty bag this time around, and I admit, it was pretty awesome. But to me the big win was discovering Aveeno smart essentials daily scrub. It is probably the best facial scrub that my 43 year old face has run into in years. I raved about it on plurk when it came out. So imagine my chagrin when, after having taken it to New York with me that I couldn't FIND it when I returned home.

At first I thought that I had left it in the suitcase I carelessly left unpacked for about two weeks. But then I finally got around to unpacking it and going through my sundry chick bags of this and that to no avail. NO AVEENO CLEANSER.

This was about the time that my husband pointed out the sticker on my suitcase, saying the TSA had opened and inspected my bag.

Those jacks at the TSA who were TOO LAZY TO SIGN UP FOR THE TARGET SUMMER BEAUTY BAG STOLE MY CLEANSER.

What a bunch of jerkwads.

That's fine. I will buy more. TAKE my cleanser you ne'er do well. AND MAY YOU NEVER HAVE A DAY'S LUCK WITH IT!

I've asked Eddard Stark to convey my feelings on this.

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The CIA Is Hiring

So last night I went out for drinks and a movie with some work mates. We had a great time, but on the way home, I probably heard one of the most hilarious things ever on the radio.
The CIA is hiring.
Seriously, the CIA is doing RADIO DROPS to get people to apply to work for them.
I was sort of half heartedly listening, when it occurred to me it wasn't some sort of joke advertisement. They kept going on about Clandestine Service and then finished with "See more information at CIA.GOV."

This is hilarious and intriguing to me on many levels. First of all, is no one left in military intelligence or like, the FBI or something to move over into the CIA? That seems like it would be a promotion from where I sit out in civilian land. I'm not sure of course, but in my movie-based point of reference, CIA seems like the coolest spy unit to work for.

Secondly, in the radio ad, they list qualifications as "being able to take a polygraph test" and "willing to submit to a physical exam."

Ok - able. Yes, I am ABLE to take a polygraph test. I'm wondering what they are looking fro though. The ability to tell the truth or the ability to LIE AND FOOL THE MACHINE. That's sort of fascinating to me. I thought only sociopaths can fool the machine though, so maybe that's not such a good quality.

Willing to submit to a physical exam? Yeah ok. If forty something and kind of fat works for you, exam all you want.

I kind of want to know what sort of questions they would ask you. I'm fascinated. Part of me wants to apply JUST to find out. I'm fairly sure they don't pay anything worth getting myself killed in some third world prison for, but man, it's definitely intriguing. I linked to them so they'll see this blog post and know I'm not serious and I won't get an interview. :(  Part of me WANTS TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO INTERVIEW FOR THE CIA.

Plus, if they asked me if I would kill a man, I could answer, "In Reno - Just to watch him DIE."

Looking at their web page - does anyone else things it's freaky that they have a kids page?

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The CIA Is Hiring

So last night I went out for drinks and a movie with some work mates. We had a great time, but on the way home, I probably heard one of the most hilarious things ever on the radio.
The CIA is hiring.
Seriously, the CIA is doing RADIO DROPS to get people to apply to work for them.
I was sort of half heartedly listening, when it occurred to me it wasn't some sort of joke advertisement. They kept going on about Clandestine Service and then finished with "See more information at CIA.GOV."

This is hilarious and intriguing to me on many levels. First of all, is no one left in military intelligence or like, the FBI or something to move over into the CIA? That seems like it would be a promotion from where I sit out in civilian land. I'm not sure of course, but in my movie-based point of reference, CIA seems like the coolest spy unit to work for.

Secondly, in the radio ad, they list qualifications as "being able to take a polygraph test" and "willing to submit to a physical exam."

Ok - able. Yes, I am ABLE to take a polygraph test. I'm wondering what they are looking fro though. The ability to tell the truth or the ability to LIE AND FOOL THE MACHINE. That's sort of fascinating to me. I thought only sociopaths can fool the machine though, so maybe that's not such a good quality.

Willing to submit to a physical exam? Yeah ok. If forty something and kind of fat works for you, exam all you want.

I kind of want to know what sort of questions they would ask you. I'm fascinated. Part of me wants to apply JUST to find out. I'm fairly sure they don't pay anything worth getting myself killed in some third world prison for, but man, it's definitely intriguing. I linked to them so they'll see this blog post and know I'm not serious and I won't get an interview. :(  Part of me WANTS TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO INTERVIEW FOR THE CIA.

Plus, if they asked me if I would kill a man, I could answer, "In Reno - Just to watch him DIE."

Looking at their web page - does anyone else things it's freaky that they have a kids page?

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My Facebook Is A Mystery

I'm not sure how all the people got there, the people on my FACEBOOK.
Some of them I know. I look at their updates with a bit of interest. I work with some. I used to work with some. There are the personal friends and the family.
But then, there are OTHER.
First of all, the Attorney General of Florida is there, Pam Bondi.
I don't know why. I don't live in Florida any more, and I don't think she was the Attorney General when I lived there. She would've had to have added me. What's the motivation there?
There was the weird dude from the Evil Empire who is the night janitor. I'm positive we didn't have a night janitor when I worked there, nor did we ever know each other. Why did he add me?
I agree I'm cool but really, I'm kind of persona non-grata around there.
There is a girl on my Facebook who I thought was someone I used to work with,thus approved, but now, this former redneck/somewhat racist seems to have multi-racial family. I'm confused if she changed or I added a stranger. I mean, yay if she changed but.....I guess I'm a cynic and not betting on that.

There are the various women who seem to be wives/girlfriends of guys I know who added me. Some of these guys I dated. Some of these guys I did not date, nor even shag. Girls, add me all you want. If you old man is up to shenanigans, I promise you it's not my MY Facebook wall nor anyone else's.
Unless you married an idiot.

I look at Facebook maybe once or twice a day on my phone, maybe once a week on my computer. Maybe not that often. I'm not addicted. I tend to just approve people because I have worked a lot of places and can't remember who everyone is.


I quit looking for people much, simply because, I've pretty much got the people I know and love. Random people I haven't seen in 30 years, I am unsure how much we really have in common anymore. So generally these days I am just adding people who add me. Except for my best friend in grade school. THAT BITCH WON'T ADD ME. FINE! I don't wanna be your friend anyway! I guess I see her point, it's been oh, 30 as pointed out above - really, do we need to connect? Nah.


I guess I'm gonna have to slow my roll though adding people, because I don't need to be adding crazies, and obviously since the internets are full of crazies that's what I'm doing.  


Except awesome folks like George Takei. Facebook needs more of you. And less of people posting pics of toeless people and saying we should thank Jesus for our toes. 

Seriously, stop with the toeless people.

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