The Places You'll Go: Go Karts, Bears and Breakfast In The Cold

On the day it snowed it was around 28 degrees in the morning. I don't really remember how cold it was, what I do remember was that we didn't have winter coats with us AND that we decided to go drive Go Karts.
Why? I'm not sure. We went to breakfast and ate it shivering a bit despite the nearby heater. The breakfast place was Gatlinburg famous and the food was really good.

After breakfast we ambled down to a tourist trap to view bears who had an enclosure they were living in. We'd steadfastly avoided such places in the past because who the HELL would approve of such a thing? But then we learned the story, of how these bears were rescued from a HUNTING CAMP where they lived in a special reserve where they only lived there to be hunted. WHICH IS FLIPPING HORRIBLE. Was their enclosure as awesome as living out in nature and being free? Of course not. But there wasn't any doubt that they were loved and cared for - and their enclosure was large and nicely made. So yeah, not the best - but definitely better than what fate had in store for them initially.

Also at the tourist trap we purchased fudge, tervis tumblers and some other stuff. Why is it we have to buy fudge when we travel? Fudge is always the same, always with some sort of "local" flair on one or two flavors right? I wonder why it's a thing but I don't really even care. Fudge is really good.

By the time we were done shopping and seeing bears the snow was not only stopped, you couldn't tell it had happened that morning at all. It was cold but not the worst.

The oldest boy and I drove a car with the girl riding along with me to help me steer. She was tremendously helpful.

I have to say that there was something about flying around that track in the blistering cold, feeling my hands getting chapped and numb, letting the back end of that car get loose as we hit the remaining ice patches, that was in it's way life affirming. I'm alive. We're alive. Feel that wind, let it come so hard it HURTS. Feel the rush as you slide around the corners, as you barely miss your own kid in his own car. Death wasn't there. I'd put miles between me and death.

At least for the time being.

What do we say to the God of Death? 

NOT TODAY.

The Places You'll Go: Go Karts, Bears and Breakfast In The Cold

On the day it snowed it was around 28 degrees in the morning. I don't really remember how cold it was, what I do remember was that we didn't have winter coats with us AND that we decided to go drive Go Karts.
Why? I'm not sure. We went to breakfast and ate it shivering a bit despite the nearby heater. The breakfast place was Gatlinburg famous and the food was really good.

After breakfast we ambled down to a tourist trap to view bears who had an enclosure they were living in. We'd steadfastly avoided such places in the past because who the HELL would approve of such a thing? But then we learned the story, of how these bears were rescued from a HUNTING CAMP where they lived in a special reserve where they only lived there to be hunted. WHICH IS FLIPPING HORRIBLE. Was their enclosure as awesome as living out in nature and being free? Of course not. But there wasn't any doubt that they were loved and cared for - and their enclosure was large and nicely made. So yeah, not the best - but definitely better than what fate had in store for them initially.

Also at the tourist trap we purchased fudge, tervis tumblers and some other stuff. Why is it we have to buy fudge when we travel? Fudge is always the same, always with some sort of "local" flair on one or two flavors right? I wonder why it's a thing but I don't really even care. Fudge is really good.

By the time we were done shopping and seeing bears the snow was not only stopped, you couldn't tell it had happened that morning at all. It was cold but not the worst.

The oldest boy and I drove a car with the girl riding along with me to help me steer. She was tremendously helpful.

I have to say that there was something about flying around that track in the blistering cold, feeling my hands getting chapped and numb, letting the back end of that car get loose as we hit the remaining ice patches, that was in it's way life affirming. I'm alive. We're alive. Feel that wind, let it come so hard it HURTS. Feel the rush as you slide around the corners, as you barely miss your own kid in his own car. Death wasn't there. I'd put miles between me and death.

At least for the time being.

What do we say to the God of Death? 

NOT TODAY.

The Places You'll Go: Day Four

In the spirit of going places, remembering Aunt Debbie's legacy and putting some positive memory to end our trip we decided to stop for a couple of days in Gatlinburg on our way home. Nothing says "We're in Gatlinburg" like posing with a great big ass bear statue I think.

My husband and I were chased out of our hot tub during our honeymoon by a bear here in Gatlinburg. Maybe that's why I'm amused by taking photos of bears with my children.

I feel like it was probably more along the size of this latter one. I can't tell you, however, as our naked butts were busy running and carrying our booze as fast as we could back into our cabin. Stupid bear.

Besides taking pictures with bears we did the requisite touristy things. We went to the aquarium where I decided I wanted to touch a jellyfish as much as the kids did. It was REALLY kind of neat to touch them. They feel quite lovely and smooth. Little bastards of pain of suffering in disguise is what they are.

There were also stingrays to pet - a lot has changed here since we came on our honeymoon. Or maybe it hasn't and we were just in "we just got married" shock at the time. I can't even say.

The kids always love aquariums but I think I love them most of all. I still have this intense desire to get in the water with these beasts and know them, like some Aquatic Dr. Doolittle.

Oh my god - it just OCCURRED TO ME THAT THIS IS WHAT AQUAMAN IS - he's AQUATIC Dr. DOOLITTLE. How odd. Anyway...

I don't have a lot of profound take aways from our trip to the aquarium. It was a nice decompression from the stress and sadness that came before.

Maybe it was just a respite from the world. It served us well if so.

The Places You'll Go: Day Four

In the spirit of going places, remembering Aunt Debbie's legacy and putting some positive memory to end our trip we decided to stop for a couple of days in Gatlinburg on our way home. Nothing says "We're in Gatlinburg" like posing with a great big ass bear statue I think.

My husband and I were chased out of our hot tub during our honeymoon by a bear here in Gatlinburg. Maybe that's why I'm amused by taking photos of bears with my children.

I feel like it was probably more along the size of this latter one. I can't tell you, however, as our naked butts were busy running and carrying our booze as fast as we could back into our cabin. Stupid bear.

Besides taking pictures with bears we did the requisite touristy things. We went to the aquarium where I decided I wanted to touch a jellyfish as much as the kids did. It was REALLY kind of neat to touch them. They feel quite lovely and smooth. Little bastards of pain of suffering in disguise is what they are.

There were also stingrays to pet - a lot has changed here since we came on our honeymoon. Or maybe it hasn't and we were just in "we just got married" shock at the time. I can't even say.

The kids always love aquariums but I think I love them most of all. I still have this intense desire to get in the water with these beasts and know them, like some Aquatic Dr. Doolittle.

Oh my god - it just OCCURRED TO ME THAT THIS IS WHAT AQUAMAN IS - he's AQUATIC Dr. DOOLITTLE. How odd. Anyway...

I don't have a lot of profound take aways from our trip to the aquarium. It was a nice decompression from the stress and sadness that came before.

Maybe it was just a respite from the world. It served us well if so.

And We Had To See A Plantation

Our last day of vacation my family gave in to Mom and we did something girly, we went to a plantation. I picked this one out of the stack of brochures the front desk handed us on check in simply because it's been continuously functioning since the 1600s. I think that's fairly interesting. Plus - they shot part of North and South there and I'm old enough to have watched that mini-series with great enthusiasm back in the day.

A row of live oaks this spectacular needed a southern belle seated at it's entrance, so I grabbed the first one I could find. Seriously, no one should enter this lane other than horse drawn carriage, it's just spectacular.

We learned a lot while  we were there, such as this was the only two story gin house ever built, and that this plantation actually built very nice slave cabins - out of brick, however let's don't forget that they are still slave cabins so "nice slave cabins" is the worst sort of oxymoron. Also the owner had a brick making factory so it's not like he was OUT anything but building from brick. I appreciated that our guide made a firm point of telling the visitors that these all originally had dirt floors and these wooden floors and steps were built for tourists - I think it's valuable for people to understand things like that. 

The house has changed hand many times over the years, and this is like the third or fourth actual house on the property. I'd really like to SEE the others, I wish there were paintings or photos of any of them.

The gardens out front were pretty but I wasn't wowed by them. There were some really nice roses however, and now I'm wishing I didn't hate gardening so much because I'd love to have a nicer flower bed out front. I know exactly what I want but man, ugh, outside? Digging? I don't know if I'm that tough. Probably not.

Interesting Charleston fact I learned on our carriage tour, Charlestonians do not have a southern accent. I realized when our guide said it (Our guide was David Crosby I swear just ask my husband) that I hadn't HEARD a southern accent the whole time I was there. Apparently Charlestonians have more of the east coast accent like you'd hear up north. 

It was a beautiful and lazy southern day, therefore a perfect day to visit a plantation in my opinion. There was a lot of good history lessons being taught, we were lucky who to have tour guides and docents who weren't afraid of telling ugly historical truths which I totally respect and want. 

It's a good bargain too as EVERYTHING in the place is included so you don't have to pay for this and that and the other thing. The house, which I was MOST looking forward to, was sort of the most disappointing. It's a modern house, built in 1936, and the interior walls were taken from the OLD house so it's supposed to be an homage. The current family furnished it with period pieces from the 17th and 18th centuries but it's a mish mash. Also our docent said the library walls were aubergine and they were indigo so I subtract fifty points from her docent score. Maybe they were aubergine ONCE UPON A TIME.

I found a post card but the walls have clearly been painted since these photos were taken.

But just for my own ego, THIS IS AUBERGINE:

THIS IS INDIGO:

THE WALLS WERE INDIGO BLUE BECAUSE IT USED TO BE AN INDIGO PLANTATION! BAD DOCENT BAD BAD BAD. This is a guess by the way. But it makes more sense than saying that those walls were aubergine.

Even if the paint job was recent (and sloppy).

Ok but I really liked the place. The house tour was, meh, lovely. Here are three rooms, don't take any photos because some BS about it being a private residence still (a private residence you make me pay to come inside and you don't actually live in? Ok got it.)

It was quite gorgeous but kind of a let down especially since NOTHING was original in the house. But the rest of the place? It was really amazing and gorgeous.

Delicious ice cream was a perfect part of our day.

We didn't get to see everything because there were some dogs there, and we're still dealing with massive DOG FEAR and as we were about to drive home we just decided it wasn't worth it. We visited two of the slave cabins (each one had a lesson about slave life) and missed the Gullah performance which was a bummer. But all in all, it was a great stop.

Many hours, one storm and one Cracker Barrel dinner later we fell into bed about 1230 am, glad to have gone but so happy to be home. I slept like the dead, happily in my own bed and refused to wake at 7 am when Miles informed me it was "Time to get up now."

It was a great vacation.

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And We Had To See A Plantation

Our last day of vacation my family gave in to Mom and we did something girly, we went to a plantation. I picked this one out of the stack of brochures the front desk handed us on check in simply because it's been continuously functioning since the 1600s. I think that's fairly interesting. Plus - they shot part of North and South there and I'm old enough to have watched that mini-series with great enthusiasm back in the day.

A row of live oaks this spectacular needed a southern belle seated at it's entrance, so I grabbed the first one I could find. Seriously, no one should enter this lane other than horse drawn carriage, it's just spectacular.

We learned a lot while  we were there, such as this was the only two story gin house ever built, and that this plantation actually built very nice slave cabins - out of brick, however let's don't forget that they are still slave cabins so "nice slave cabins" is the worst sort of oxymoron. Also the owner had a brick making factory so it's not like he was OUT anything but building from brick. I appreciated that our guide made a firm point of telling the visitors that these all originally had dirt floors and these wooden floors and steps were built for tourists - I think it's valuable for people to understand things like that. 

The house has changed hand many times over the years, and this is like the third or fourth actual house on the property. I'd really like to SEE the others, I wish there were paintings or photos of any of them.

The gardens out front were pretty but I wasn't wowed by them. There were some really nice roses however, and now I'm wishing I didn't hate gardening so much because I'd love to have a nicer flower bed out front. I know exactly what I want but man, ugh, outside? Digging? I don't know if I'm that tough. Probably not.

Interesting Charleston fact I learned on our carriage tour, Charlestonians do not have a southern accent. I realized when our guide said it (Our guide was David Crosby I swear just ask my husband) that I hadn't HEARD a southern accent the whole time I was there. Apparently Charlestonians have more of the east coast accent like you'd hear up north. 

It was a beautiful and lazy southern day, therefore a perfect day to visit a plantation in my opinion. There was a lot of good history lessons being taught, we were lucky who to have tour guides and docents who weren't afraid of telling ugly historical truths which I totally respect and want. 

It's a good bargain too as EVERYTHING in the place is included so you don't have to pay for this and that and the other thing. The house, which I was MOST looking forward to, was sort of the most disappointing. It's a modern house, built in 1936, and the interior walls were taken from the OLD house so it's supposed to be an homage. The current family furnished it with period pieces from the 17th and 18th centuries but it's a mish mash. Also our docent said the library walls were aubergine and they were indigo so I subtract fifty points from her docent score. Maybe they were aubergine ONCE UPON A TIME.

I found a post card but the walls have clearly been painted since these photos were taken.

But just for my own ego, THIS IS AUBERGINE:

THIS IS INDIGO:

THE WALLS WERE INDIGO BLUE BECAUSE IT USED TO BE AN INDIGO PLANTATION! BAD DOCENT BAD BAD BAD. This is a guess by the way. But it makes more sense than saying that those walls were aubergine.

Even if the paint job was recent (and sloppy).

Ok but I really liked the place. The house tour was, meh, lovely. Here are three rooms, don't take any photos because some BS about it being a private residence still (a private residence you make me pay to come inside and you don't actually live in? Ok got it.)

It was quite gorgeous but kind of a let down especially since NOTHING was original in the house. But the rest of the place? It was really amazing and gorgeous.

Delicious ice cream was a perfect part of our day.

We didn't get to see everything because there were some dogs there, and we're still dealing with massive DOG FEAR and as we were about to drive home we just decided it wasn't worth it. We visited two of the slave cabins (each one had a lesson about slave life) and missed the Gullah performance which was a bummer. But all in all, it was a great stop.

Many hours, one storm and one Cracker Barrel dinner later we fell into bed about 1230 am, glad to have gone but so happy to be home. I slept like the dead, happily in my own bed and refused to wake at 7 am when Miles informed me it was "Time to get up now."

It was a great vacation.

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The Requisite Beach Day, And Another Woman's Hair Up

I was reminded very quickly when we arrived at the beach that there is a reason for pony tail holders (or hair ups as they're called around here since the girl renamed them) or hats at the beach. My long over processed hair immediately began whipping left, right, front and back until I looked more like Cousin It THAN Cousin It. Julia found treasure on the beach, a pony tail holder. You might think, ewww, that's gross. People, you can cook food in sand. It was hot so I was hoping any nastiness has been baked out, I was desperate. I figured worst case scenario I get lice and shave my head. I was willing to take that chance. 

The beach itself was full of beach fun like sand castles and  digging. Because, well you know, BEACHES.

It was hot, in the 80s. The wind was cool, the sand was nice and toasty on ones toes. The water however, omg Atlantic Ocean EFF YOU.

Ice effing cold. Death cold. Gripping claws of icy demons from the depths grabbing you and reaching for your soul cold. Ok, that's what Julia and I thought anyway. The boys liked it a bit more than that. 

What we did have though, was no meltdowns. The beach you see is one of Miles FAVORITE places, he loves even the ice cold surf. We had a day of sun and sand and some very cold water.  

We headed out to a local Mediterranean place (very tasty) called Manny's and had an uneventful dinner where pizza and Greek food was consumed happily by everyone. Despite the cold water it was one of our better days. 

Things went wrong at the beach like they always do everywhere we go. Charlie pooped in his swimming suit - which was kind of amazing and surprising, he's NEVER done that. How do you handle that? Well we realized it as we were leaving, so we just threw them away. We carry spare clothes everywhere we go.

I've talked a lot about the tantrums and the stress of autism raining down on us as we vacationed but I just wanted to point out one thing - none of this is abnormal or "bad".  This is just our life. The most important thing isn't how the tantrums interrupt or disrupt something, the most important thing is how we don't stop. We don't cave in, we don't cease activity or outings because of bad behavior.

Our hostess at the diner that evening, without either of the boys doing or saying anything knew they were autistic. She asked what Charlie wanted to drink, and when Scott answered "Oh he doesn't speak" she smiled and said "Oh it's ok, my brother is severely autistic too." She then went on to talk to us about how much more independent he is now, and that she thinks he might be able to live alone one day. Obviously he's much older than my boys, but her calm acceptance of our different family made me just LOVE this place. About halfway through the meal, as everyone gobbled down their delicious food and the boys watched the various TVs on the wall she stopped back by and said, "They're really doing great." We explained to her that we go out all that time with them and she told us about her mom teaching Autism pre-k, and her family.

It was a perfect end of our last "vacation" night. I don't know that girls name but she gave me hope. I'd like to thank her but I forgot to. So if you're ever in North Charleston - seriously go to Manny's. They're good people there.
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The Requisite Beach Day, And Another Woman's Hair Up

I was reminded very quickly when we arrived at the beach that there is a reason for pony tail holders (or hair ups as they're called around here since the girl renamed them) or hats at the beach. My long over processed hair immediately began whipping left, right, front and back until I looked more like Cousin It THAN Cousin It. Julia found treasure on the beach, a pony tail holder. You might think, ewww, that's gross. People, you can cook food in sand. It was hot so I was hoping any nastiness has been baked out, I was desperate. I figured worst case scenario I get lice and shave my head. I was willing to take that chance. 

The beach itself was full of beach fun like sand castles and  digging. Because, well you know, BEACHES.

It was hot, in the 80s. The wind was cool, the sand was nice and toasty on ones toes. The water however, omg Atlantic Ocean EFF YOU.

Ice effing cold. Death cold. Gripping claws of icy demons from the depths grabbing you and reaching for your soul cold. Ok, that's what Julia and I thought anyway. The boys liked it a bit more than that. 

What we did have though, was no meltdowns. The beach you see is one of Miles FAVORITE places, he loves even the ice cold surf. We had a day of sun and sand and some very cold water.  

We headed out to a local Mediterranean place (very tasty) called Manny's and had an uneventful dinner where pizza and Greek food was consumed happily by everyone. Despite the cold water it was one of our better days. 

Things went wrong at the beach like they always do everywhere we go. Charlie pooped in his swimming suit - which was kind of amazing and surprising, he's NEVER done that. How do you handle that? Well we realized it as we were leaving, so we just threw them away. We carry spare clothes everywhere we go.

I've talked a lot about the tantrums and the stress of autism raining down on us as we vacationed but I just wanted to point out one thing - none of this is abnormal or "bad".  This is just our life. The most important thing isn't how the tantrums interrupt or disrupt something, the most important thing is how we don't stop. We don't cave in, we don't cease activity or outings because of bad behavior.

Our hostess at the diner that evening, without either of the boys doing or saying anything knew they were autistic. She asked what Charlie wanted to drink, and when Scott answered "Oh he doesn't speak" she smiled and said "Oh it's ok, my brother is severely autistic too." She then went on to talk to us about how much more independent he is now, and that she thinks he might be able to live alone one day. Obviously he's much older than my boys, but her calm acceptance of our different family made me just LOVE this place. About halfway through the meal, as everyone gobbled down their delicious food and the boys watched the various TVs on the wall she stopped back by and said, "They're really doing great." We explained to her that we go out all that time with them and she told us about her mom teaching Autism pre-k, and her family.

It was a perfect end of our last "vacation" night. I don't know that girls name but she gave me hope. I'd like to thank her but I forgot to. So if you're ever in North Charleston - seriously go to Manny's. They're good people there.
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Questionable Coffee, Fort Sumter and an Aircraft Carrier

I am sitting in my mostly darkened hotel room while half the family sleeps. I'm up writing and enjoying some really vile coffee. Enjoying is a really loose term. I've offered to share it with the twins and after the first drink they're looking at me like I'm a loon. WHY WOULD WE WANT THAT VILE WOMAN they seem to be saying. I don't blame them. It's not good at all.
Yesterday was another roller coaster of chaos in the land that is autism parenting. Some days we're just not good at this.
We started out our morning taking the ferry to Fort Sumter.

I've always wanted to see Fort Sumter, and today (we were there yesterday) is the 150th anniversary of the end of the Civil War. It seems meaningful to be here now. I would've liked to have gone today except then I think about yesterday's chaos and then add in more people no nevermind I will pass.

The oldest boy was here four years ago with the Boy Scouts. He got to participate in the Flag Raising which I wish had gotten to see, that's the stuff that makes mothers proud you know. But he got to show me all the things he has told me about since he was here.

And he got to show me things he missed before - like this shell still stuck in the old fort's wall. There are a few, which is fairly awesome to think these have been there 150+ years. The girl found a cannon just her size she declared, and stood behind pretending to fire it yelling BOOM BOOM BOOM!

One of our best moments of the fort came from our little family terrorist Miles, who stopped to read one of the placards. He read more than either of us realized he was able to. Was he reading with comprehension? Well I hope so because he understands \English - so it was kind of fun, he read us the first full sentence on his own with very little help and a bit more. At 10 that might not seem like a lot, but for our little guys that was major. Charlie couldn't come closed to it.

It was beautiful at Fort Sumter. I really am glad I've seen it now. And even if the twins don't ever really understand it I'm glad we saw it too. It was really lovely for an old fort.

One of my favorite artifacts inside was the large Union flag that was raised as the screw you to the secessionists back in Charleston. It made me laugh, that takes balls knowing you're alone and outnumbered and still standing tall. It's worn but it's still a great flag.

It would've probably been an ok day if we'd have stopped at that point but we had a full day ahead of us....next up was the USS Yorktown.

The USS Yorktown is the biggest thing I've ever seen on water and I cannot get my mind around the fact that modern carriers are way way bigger. I don't even know how that's POSSIBLE frankly. 

Louis and his dad once spent three days on this ship with the Boy Scouts so this was their opportunity to show us around. I have to admit, It was pretty damn impressive. 

Being in the hangar was hard to keep it straight that you were on a ship. There were just tons of airplanes, a diner, a museum, so many things and it just seems like a big building instead of a ship.

I mean how big is it? The snackbar/diner has an airplane hanging over it. A FULL SIZED AIRPLANE. 

Miles had decided before we got on the ship that he wasn't having it. So it was again another day of up and down with autism. This time the tantrums were a bit worse and the happy times were shorter which made for stress for us all. I'm not really sure if it was because he was out of his element, if he simply hates airplanes and or ships, or it was some other thing we don't understand but he was REALLY mad at us about halfway through exploring the ship.

These creepy mannequins kept scaring us, they've be randomly positioned in crew areas and when you didn't expect it BAM mannequin. 

And obviously I took this picture because ....HIIIIIWAAAYYY TO THE DAAANGER ZOOOONE. It was a moral imperative.

The flight deck was also amazing - and it was up there that Miles really decided to start showing us how done with all of this shit he was.

There he goes, stomping off away from the rest of us in protest. Thank God the flight deck has fences around it for us mortals, I was worried a bit being up there during this tantrum but it wasn't too bad. 

Julia drove the ship for a bit. Her exact words were, "Oh I'd LOVE to drive the ship THANK YOU!" Such a lady. 

Ice cream snack time gave us another break from tantrum. I feel like I may have set a record for most diapers changed on the USS Yorktown. YAY ME! 

One of Louis' favorite parts of the tour is the recipe for 10k cookies that they have posted. Can you imagine? It's pretty hilarious. And only one quart of water! What a tedious pain the butt job.

I really enjoyed Fort Sumter and the Yorktown despite the crazy of autism trying to jerk us around. Miles spent his day in and out of tantrum for no reason. It was heartbreaking and stressful and hard and well, annoying. The ships photographer captured a perfect tantrum. It was so bad they gave us the picture for free.

That picture is a perfect summary of our lives.Louis and Julia and I are just going on trying to smile, Charlie is staring at him like WHATS WRONG DUDE and my poor husband is exasperated. This is who we are most days when the cameras aren't rolling. 

It was a good day but a hard day. There were things to enjoy, lots of laughter and smiles but more tantrums. I hope autism gives it a break today.