Major Victories Minor Setbacks

The setbacks started just before NYE. I was feeling this nasally, congested-not-good feeling sort of way that you feel when THE SICK is upon you. Except, I didn't really quite feel sick. It didn't morph into THE SICK but it seemed to settle into my chest by New Year's Eve.When I got home from work the tightness in my chest and ensuing coughing fits that brought no relief made me sit down with the nebulizer, hoping to shower my lungs with drugs to relieve inflammation and dilate bronchial tubes.

Every day since then I've felt worse.

But not in a "hey I'm sick" way. No fever to speak of. No aches and pains. I just can't breathe correctly. As someone with asthma that told me just one thing, an attack was in progress. That's the funny thing about asthma attacks. While the kind where you go from fine to suddenly wheezing in distress DO exist, for me I find them to be things that creep up and you go from sort of not ok to wow really not ok to hmmmm something is terribly wrong to BOOM you are in the ER with plummeting pulse ox levels and and suddenly you're being pumped full of all sorts of drugs to keep you from dying.

I decided this was a bad idea and went to the new doctor. I was a little apprehensive about going to a new doctor WHILE sick, I usually want to meet and greet when I'm well and get to know them. I feel a bit like when I'm sick, I'm in a helpless position and if I don't like them well hell I'm sick so I need them anyway.

This guy was amazing. The first thing he said after we talked was "Let's do a chest Xray" and I responded "For Asthma?" feeling like wait that's dumb. His response wasn't. "I tend to find that long term sufferers of asthma don't have a good litmus for their lung health, because your lungs never feel what others consider GOOD/NORMAL. So you can be sicker than you realize, and not even know it."

And guess? This girl has pneumonia.

I went to work with an RX for antibiotics and steroids, and with a couple of shots IN me of same to kick start the healing. I'm OFF any sort of exercise until I have finished all my meds.

BOO.

We're 8 days in and so far this year and I aren't getting along that well. Thus far:

Minor Setback: Pneumonia. I haven't worked hardly out at all in 2016 and I can't for another ten days at least. I had a lot of plans to really start pushing myself and they are delayed which frustrates me to no end.

Major Victories:

• I did a lot of research on how to eat based on my health, my body, my age etc. I decided to adjust my macros based on the fact that I've lived as "pre-diabetic" for about 25 years. Both of my parents were diabetic and I would like to be NOT diabetic so I'm really striving to prevent this through diet, weightloss and working out.
• I dropped my caloric intake just slightly also based on other research and my bodies propensity to hold on to weight. It's working well. Yay.
• My new doctor TOOK ME OFF MY BP meds. This was a major life goal for me. Almost more important that weight loss, I wanted off this pill. My blood pressure was so low yesterday he said "Why the HELL are you on bp meds?" I explained my heart condition and he said that drugs aren't indicated for that UNLESS it's coupled with HIGH bp AND serious obesity and at my height he's amazed I'm not dizzy all the time. I said "Oh funny you should mention that...I am." 

That being said, these steroids are KILLING me today so I'm having a day of rest which is much needed. Thus, I'm off to bed so sleep, perchance to dream.

Tweet

Major Victories Minor Setbacks

The setbacks started just before NYE. I was feeling this nasally, congested-not-good feeling sort of way that you feel when THE SICK is upon you. Except, I didn't really quite feel sick. It didn't morph into THE SICK but it seemed to settle into my chest by New Year's Eve.When I got home from work the tightness in my chest and ensuing coughing fits that brought no relief made me sit down with the nebulizer, hoping to shower my lungs with drugs to relieve inflammation and dilate bronchial tubes.

Every day since then I've felt worse.

But not in a "hey I'm sick" way. No fever to speak of. No aches and pains. I just can't breathe correctly. As someone with asthma that told me just one thing, an attack was in progress. That's the funny thing about asthma attacks. While the kind where you go from fine to suddenly wheezing in distress DO exist, for me I find them to be things that creep up and you go from sort of not ok to wow really not ok to hmmmm something is terribly wrong to BOOM you are in the ER with plummeting pulse ox levels and and suddenly you're being pumped full of all sorts of drugs to keep you from dying.

I decided this was a bad idea and went to the new doctor. I was a little apprehensive about going to a new doctor WHILE sick, I usually want to meet and greet when I'm well and get to know them. I feel a bit like when I'm sick, I'm in a helpless position and if I don't like them well hell I'm sick so I need them anyway.

This guy was amazing. The first thing he said after we talked was "Let's do a chest Xray" and I responded "For Asthma?" feeling like wait that's dumb. His response wasn't. "I tend to find that long term sufferers of asthma don't have a good litmus for their lung health, because your lungs never feel what others consider GOOD/NORMAL. So you can be sicker than you realize, and not even know it."

And guess? This girl has pneumonia.

I went to work with an RX for antibiotics and steroids, and with a couple of shots IN me of same to kick start the healing. I'm OFF any sort of exercise until I have finished all my meds.

BOO.

We're 8 days in and so far this year and I aren't getting along that well. Thus far:

Minor Setback: Pneumonia. I haven't worked hardly out at all in 2016 and I can't for another ten days at least. I had a lot of plans to really start pushing myself and they are delayed which frustrates me to no end.

Major Victories:

• I did a lot of research on how to eat based on my health, my body, my age etc. I decided to adjust my macros based on the fact that I've lived as "pre-diabetic" for about 25 years. Both of my parents were diabetic and I would like to be NOT diabetic so I'm really striving to prevent this through diet, weightloss and working out.
• I dropped my caloric intake just slightly also based on other research and my bodies propensity to hold on to weight. It's working well. Yay.
• My new doctor TOOK ME OFF MY BP meds. This was a major life goal for me. Almost more important that weight loss, I wanted off this pill. My blood pressure was so low yesterday he said "Why the HELL are you on bp meds?" I explained my heart condition and he said that drugs aren't indicated for that UNLESS it's coupled with HIGH bp AND serious obesity and at my height he's amazed I'm not dizzy all the time. I said "Oh funny you should mention that...I am." 

That being said, these steroids are KILLING me today so I'm having a day of rest which is much needed. Thus, I'm off to bed so sleep, perchance to dream.

Tweet

We've Got A Long Way To Go...

I decided last week that I was going to get back on focusing on making myself more healthy as of today. I was at a record low number the day before Dad died, and then I ate like Jabba ever since. I hit a number and managed to hover and there I've been since November.  I decided that through the holidays I was going to be content to just HOVER there. A pound up, a pound down this way or that and I didn't mind. I wasn't going to go berserk, I was going to eat and enjoy my holidays but not graze and stuff myself.

I failed a bit on that last part but mostly I didn't. I didn't work out much, I didn't focus on water, I just let myself exist. It was intense relief, not considering my food all fucking day I have to admit it.

Today however I'm back on it. I did have sugar in my coffee and no regrets but even that will have to go except for maybe once in a while. It's time to get serious again. I know I'm not ever going to be model thin. I sometimes say I want to lose another 100 pounds but that's not really realistic I know. However I'm going to shoot for that number and somewhere along the way I think I'll find the place that feels right.

What I want is to be healthy. I want to diminish my risks for things like diabetes (Dad and Mom had it), of liver and kidney disease (Mom had it), heart disease (Dad had it). I know I can't ever completely eradicate them but I can't accept that I didn't TRY.

So I'm trying. Or - I'm doing, as it were.

Not eating a ton of junk is the easy part to me. I'm always just sort of hungry and I've learned to deal with that. I think that hunger is mental and it fades into real hunger and I try to eat things that aren't total crap and deal with the fact that I would over eat every opportunity I have, if I let myself. So, I don't let myself.

Working out is the struggle.

I could go on about how much I fucking hate it but there's no point. This body needs it. But you can't just go full tilt back into where you were because bodies don't work like that. That's how you get hurt. I decided to do circuit training tonight on the total gym and set the timer at 30 minutes, thinking "If I can just do 20 tonight...just 20 minimum." I knew I wouldn't make the full 30 as the muscle fatigue began to wear me down. My legs began to get numb and ache at the same time, my shoulders and arms began to scream. I thought god I have to be about done right? It's been along time...

I glanced at my timer...17 minutes.

OH GOD ONLY 17 minutes in and I don't even know if I can keep going UGH STUPID BODY WITH NO MUSCLE TONE WHY ARE YOU SO WEAK???

Now maybe it's because I was a music major, or maybe it's WHY I was a music major but music always plays a huge part in how I feel, and I always find that sometimes a song can push me this way or that. It can make me sadder, it can make me stronger, it can make me consider my life even a ridiculous pop song can sometimes say things to me I doubt were truly intended. Music makes my world a better place, and I can't count the number of times a song has randomly come on that changed me at that moment.

So there I am, pulling pulling on the total gym, muscle fatigue taking over, shaking in all my extremities and I think "DAMMIT 17 DAMN MINUTES REALLY???" when it happens. The plucking and planking of banjo and suddenly blasting through my Pandora 70s Country Music channel....

JERRY REED....Eastbound and Down.....

You wanna know where I found another 3 minutes I needed to at least get to 20 minutes for my work out today? From that hillbilly Jerry Reed twanging his guitar and suddenly I'm singing along and busting my ass because BY GOD I am getting to 20 minutes.

I've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there.

Just put that hammer down and give it hell...

Hell yes.

20 minutes. Done.

Thanks Jerry.

Tweet

We've Got A Long Way To Go...

I decided last week that I was going to get back on focusing on making myself more healthy as of today. I was at a record low number the day before Dad died, and then I ate like Jabba ever since. I hit a number and managed to hover and there I've been since November.  I decided that through the holidays I was going to be content to just HOVER there. A pound up, a pound down this way or that and I didn't mind. I wasn't going to go berserk, I was going to eat and enjoy my holidays but not graze and stuff myself.

I failed a bit on that last part but mostly I didn't. I didn't work out much, I didn't focus on water, I just let myself exist. It was intense relief, not considering my food all fucking day I have to admit it.

Today however I'm back on it. I did have sugar in my coffee and no regrets but even that will have to go except for maybe once in a while. It's time to get serious again. I know I'm not ever going to be model thin. I sometimes say I want to lose another 100 pounds but that's not really realistic I know. However I'm going to shoot for that number and somewhere along the way I think I'll find the place that feels right.

What I want is to be healthy. I want to diminish my risks for things like diabetes (Dad and Mom had it), of liver and kidney disease (Mom had it), heart disease (Dad had it). I know I can't ever completely eradicate them but I can't accept that I didn't TRY.

So I'm trying. Or - I'm doing, as it were.

Not eating a ton of junk is the easy part to me. I'm always just sort of hungry and I've learned to deal with that. I think that hunger is mental and it fades into real hunger and I try to eat things that aren't total crap and deal with the fact that I would over eat every opportunity I have, if I let myself. So, I don't let myself.

Working out is the struggle.

I could go on about how much I fucking hate it but there's no point. This body needs it. But you can't just go full tilt back into where you were because bodies don't work like that. That's how you get hurt. I decided to do circuit training tonight on the total gym and set the timer at 30 minutes, thinking "If I can just do 20 tonight...just 20 minimum." I knew I wouldn't make the full 30 as the muscle fatigue began to wear me down. My legs began to get numb and ache at the same time, my shoulders and arms began to scream. I thought god I have to be about done right? It's been along time...

I glanced at my timer...17 minutes.

OH GOD ONLY 17 minutes in and I don't even know if I can keep going UGH STUPID BODY WITH NO MUSCLE TONE WHY ARE YOU SO WEAK???

Now maybe it's because I was a music major, or maybe it's WHY I was a music major but music always plays a huge part in how I feel, and I always find that sometimes a song can push me this way or that. It can make me sadder, it can make me stronger, it can make me consider my life even a ridiculous pop song can sometimes say things to me I doubt were truly intended. Music makes my world a better place, and I can't count the number of times a song has randomly come on that changed me at that moment.

So there I am, pulling pulling on the total gym, muscle fatigue taking over, shaking in all my extremities and I think "DAMMIT 17 DAMN MINUTES REALLY???" when it happens. The plucking and planking of banjo and suddenly blasting through my Pandora 70s Country Music channel....

JERRY REED....Eastbound and Down.....

You wanna know where I found another 3 minutes I needed to at least get to 20 minutes for my work out today? From that hillbilly Jerry Reed twanging his guitar and suddenly I'm singing along and busting my ass because BY GOD I am getting to 20 minutes.

I've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there.

Just put that hammer down and give it hell...

Hell yes.

20 minutes. Done.

Thanks Jerry.

Tweet

30 Minutes on the Total Gym

I won't be able to fix typos today, and for that I apologize. That's mostly because I'm MOSTLY numb right now. I think the correct term is muscle fatigue. It's a thing that's good for you. Like most things that's good for you, it's bullshit.

I don't mean it's bullshit in a "this is an untrue thing" sort of way. I mean, it's a big ball of terrible and miserable and it makes you feel bad in some way that is supposed to make you feel good on the other side of whatever barrier you have to get through. At some point in time, I will feel great afterward. I will feel strong, and positive and like this.

That day has not arrived.

I have not eaten right, I have not worked out enough and I only have myself to blame.  There is this part of me, though, that is just pissed off because I CAN remember this not hurting so much. I can remember not feeling DREAD AND DESPAIR at the thought of the work out. Maybe I didn't love it but I didn't just think how much more I'd like to go eat some chocolate covered cherries. (The cheap ones from Walmart, not the good ones). I guess in my big long constant justification stream, I don't want it to be EASIER I just want it to NOT HURT SO FUCKING MUCH.

I burned off 300 calories allegedly a few minutes ago, and perhaps that's true as I'm still struggling to use my arms properly. My legs will be fine if I just sit here.

The worst part to me lately is while I am working out, I feel pissed off. Not at me, not at my diet or my weight, or the fact that working out is requisite. I don't feel a calm and peace, or sense of renewed energy. I don't get whatever you get from endorphins or whatever. (I have never experienced this and consider it a lie, like cuddling after sex.) As I'm slogging away hauling my own body weight up and down a sliding board I start thinking of all the shit I'm pissed off about.

And I get madder.

By the time I get off, the people I am pissed off at are lucky they aren't in my sight, because I would probably set them on fire. My time of introspection and personal improvement just ends up being 30 minutes of me getting wound up about things that I have done my best to ignore and push away, or at least let go because they weren't worth me being upset about anyway.

It feels like if I ramped up my workouts the way I actually should, I would end up being one really hard to get along with bitch.

Luckily I'm not armed.



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30 Minutes on the Total Gym

I won't be able to fix typos today, and for that I apologize. That's mostly because I'm MOSTLY numb right now. I think the correct term is muscle fatigue. It's a thing that's good for you. Like most things that's good for you, it's bullshit.

I don't mean it's bullshit in a "this is an untrue thing" sort of way. I mean, it's a big ball of terrible and miserable and it makes you feel bad in some way that is supposed to make you feel good on the other side of whatever barrier you have to get through. At some point in time, I will feel great afterward. I will feel strong, and positive and like this.

That day has not arrived.

I have not eaten right, I have not worked out enough and I only have myself to blame.  There is this part of me, though, that is just pissed off because I CAN remember this not hurting so much. I can remember not feeling DREAD AND DESPAIR at the thought of the work out. Maybe I didn't love it but I didn't just think how much more I'd like to go eat some chocolate covered cherries. (The cheap ones from Walmart, not the good ones). I guess in my big long constant justification stream, I don't want it to be EASIER I just want it to NOT HURT SO FUCKING MUCH.

I burned off 300 calories allegedly a few minutes ago, and perhaps that's true as I'm still struggling to use my arms properly. My legs will be fine if I just sit here.

The worst part to me lately is while I am working out, I feel pissed off. Not at me, not at my diet or my weight, or the fact that working out is requisite. I don't feel a calm and peace, or sense of renewed energy. I don't get whatever you get from endorphins or whatever. (I have never experienced this and consider it a lie, like cuddling after sex.) As I'm slogging away hauling my own body weight up and down a sliding board I start thinking of all the shit I'm pissed off about.

And I get madder.

By the time I get off, the people I am pissed off at are lucky they aren't in my sight, because I would probably set them on fire. My time of introspection and personal improvement just ends up being 30 minutes of me getting wound up about things that I have done my best to ignore and push away, or at least let go because they weren't worth me being upset about anyway.

It feels like if I ramped up my workouts the way I actually should, I would end up being one really hard to get along with bitch.

Luckily I'm not armed.



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Funtimes Friday

Friday morning at work I didn't feel quite right. In addition to just an overall feeling of "not good" I kept getting this pressure in my chest. It wasn't pain, it was more like....a central pushing on my chest. It was wrong. It didn't belong. My first inclination was to eat, because most of my maladies can be solved by getting my blood sugar righted. When that didn't work, I realized I was putting off what might be a problem and (against the advice of co-workers) I drove myself over to my GP.

I felt like it was probably anxiety. My mom had just been to the ER the night before and again two nights before that. I thought, "They're gonna give me some Xanax and send me to bed." Really I have to admit, I was into that thought. Xanax is kind of awesome. But when I got there, they took my blood pressure (120/80) but then heard my complaint and decided to do an EKG.

And this got me sent to the ER posthaste. My friend Dave drove me and what I learned when you show up with an EKG that looks like that, they take you to the part of the ER listed on the door above.

I didn't even know this part existed.

They came in pretty aggressive (which is good I'm sure) and I had to sign every waver on the planet, up to and including emergency open heart surgery. They slapped a nitro-glycerin patch on my back, shoved stuff into my veins to calm me and to lower my BP which had gone up to 138/20) and at that point, I was pretty worried.

I took a hospital selfie. Because that's how we do now.

I thought I was going to stay there, and that I'd likely not be feeling too great today.

But then my labs started coming back, and after a long annoying echocardiagram and an even longer vascular ultrasound, the cardiologist (I shall start saying MY CARDIOLOGIST) came in to talk about what was going on.

I had a small problem over a year ago that I spent a DAY in the cardiology lab getting looked at. The decided it was a small irregularity and nothing serious have a nice day. Except that no, that wasn't quite it. I didn't get all the information, or not what I needed to KNOW.

My problem I had yesterday was an exacerbation of a congenital condition that has apparently just cropped up - called the left branch bundle block.

Right now today my heart is fine. My heart muscle is healthy. I don't have any blockages. This is good news. They didn't say it was surprising for being 45 and overweight but I know it's true. What is wrong with my heart is that the left side has a bit of an electricity problem. It might get worse with time. It might not. Either side of your heart can have this, left is the worst to have it on. However, at this point in my life and at the severity I am experiencing it, it's just something to be watched and aware of.

It is very likely I will need a pacemaker some day. But maybe not. It just depends on if this degenerates or not.

I was quite scared at some points yesterday, but I left feeling better than I entered. I asked a ton of questions this time unlike last time I was getting my heart looked at. I admit it felt good to know this wasn't anything stupid I'd done wrong, like my lack of broccoli in my life hadn't caused this. The cardiologist said I could be a marathon runner and develop this. It's just lurking in your genes and you can't help it.

I owe a huge thank you once again to the Mofield family. Once upon a time I opened my eyes after surgery and there sat Amber, reading a book, she'd come so that I didn't have to wake up alone since Scott couldn't come with all of the kids. Yesterday Dave stayed with me all day and didn't leave me. I know he secretly wanted to feast on hospital food and hanging out with me was just an excuse, but it was fun to have someone to watch daytime TV with while we waited to find out the bad or good news.

We learned if you don't pay for it, it doesn't count as cheating.

Also that the Jerry Springer show now has strippers.

But I'm ok. And will be following up for a few more tests to establish a baseline for all future tests to be compared to. I also now will always keep a copy of my EKG in my cell phone, so all future healthcare professionals won't flip out when they run an EKG on me.

Thanks for all your well wishes on FB and otherwise. It means a lot.
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Funtimes Friday

Friday morning at work I didn't feel quite right. In addition to just an overall feeling of "not good" I kept getting this pressure in my chest. It wasn't pain, it was more like....a central pushing on my chest. It was wrong. It didn't belong. My first inclination was to eat, because most of my maladies can be solved by getting my blood sugar righted. When that didn't work, I realized I was putting off what might be a problem and (against the advice of co-workers) I drove myself over to my GP.

I felt like it was probably anxiety. My mom had just been to the ER the night before and again two nights before that. I thought, "They're gonna give me some Xanax and send me to bed." Really I have to admit, I was into that thought. Xanax is kind of awesome. But when I got there, they took my blood pressure (120/80) but then heard my complaint and decided to do an EKG.

And this got me sent to the ER posthaste. My friend Dave drove me and what I learned when you show up with an EKG that looks like that, they take you to the part of the ER listed on the door above.

I didn't even know this part existed.

They came in pretty aggressive (which is good I'm sure) and I had to sign every waver on the planet, up to and including emergency open heart surgery. They slapped a nitro-glycerin patch on my back, shoved stuff into my veins to calm me and to lower my BP which had gone up to 138/20) and at that point, I was pretty worried.

I took a hospital selfie. Because that's how we do now.

I thought I was going to stay there, and that I'd likely not be feeling too great today.

But then my labs started coming back, and after a long annoying echocardiagram and an even longer vascular ultrasound, the cardiologist (I shall start saying MY CARDIOLOGIST) came in to talk about what was going on.

I had a small problem over a year ago that I spent a DAY in the cardiology lab getting looked at. The decided it was a small irregularity and nothing serious have a nice day. Except that no, that wasn't quite it. I didn't get all the information, or not what I needed to KNOW.

My problem I had yesterday was an exacerbation of a congenital condition that has apparently just cropped up - called the left branch bundle block.

Right now today my heart is fine. My heart muscle is healthy. I don't have any blockages. This is good news. They didn't say it was surprising for being 45 and overweight but I know it's true. What is wrong with my heart is that the left side has a bit of an electricity problem. It might get worse with time. It might not. Either side of your heart can have this, left is the worst to have it on. However, at this point in my life and at the severity I am experiencing it, it's just something to be watched and aware of.

It is very likely I will need a pacemaker some day. But maybe not. It just depends on if this degenerates or not.

I was quite scared at some points yesterday, but I left feeling better than I entered. I asked a ton of questions this time unlike last time I was getting my heart looked at. I admit it felt good to know this wasn't anything stupid I'd done wrong, like my lack of broccoli in my life hadn't caused this. The cardiologist said I could be a marathon runner and develop this. It's just lurking in your genes and you can't help it.

I owe a huge thank you once again to the Mofield family. Once upon a time I opened my eyes after surgery and there sat Amber, reading a book, she'd come so that I didn't have to wake up alone since Scott couldn't come with all of the kids. Yesterday Dave stayed with me all day and didn't leave me. I know he secretly wanted to feast on hospital food and hanging out with me was just an excuse, but it was fun to have someone to watch daytime TV with while we waited to find out the bad or good news.

We learned if you don't pay for it, it doesn't count as cheating.

Also that the Jerry Springer show now has strippers.

But I'm ok. And will be following up for a few more tests to establish a baseline for all future tests to be compared to. I also now will always keep a copy of my EKG in my cell phone, so all future healthcare professionals won't flip out when they run an EKG on me.

Thanks for all your well wishes on FB and otherwise. It means a lot.
Tweet

Vitamin D Apparently Fixes Everything

For the past few years, I've been overwhelmed with tired. People would tell me "You have three kids, you have two special needs kids, you have four kids, you work full time, your life is stressful, you made the Kessel Run in 12 Parsecs - OF COURSE YOU ARE TIRED."
But, they didn't get it. I wasn't tired. I was dead.
It didn't matter how much I slept. I woke up every day not with a sense of dread and depression, but with this desperate mood of "How long until I can get back into bed."
If I sat still too long, I'd fall asleep. I wouldn't even remember laying down at night, that's how quickly I was asleep every night.
As for how I was feeling otherwise, long days of overwhelming fatigue and aching and just feeling like I can't do this one more day, yet the next day would come and the next and the next and more days than I can remember yet I never felt better.
It never got better.

My husband had to start seeing a rheumatologist for several autoimmune disorders, and because of my family history, he signed me up for an appointment. When I went, I told her about my family history and she checked me for all the joint paint and did lots of Xrays then ordered ALL the bloodwork.

I will assume it was ALL the bloodwork as they took 8 vials.

The result was, no rheumatoid arthritis, no psoriatic arthritis, no lupus, no nothing really glaring , a bit of osteoarthritis in my old bad knee from basketball, but "only" a  bit.

However, my vitamin D? Didn't really HAVE any. My score was like 7. I don't know out of "what".

So she put me on a dose that is like 50,000 units a week plus I take supplements every day.

The first two weeks I didn't feel any change and was about to call bullshit when.....I woke up one day.

And I felt really good.

LIKE A HUMAN AGAIN.

I wake up every day feeling good. I don't spend my day counting how long until I can go to sleep. People at work talk about being tired and I realized, I'm not. It's like suddenly I AM ME AGAIN and I can't believe something as simple as vitamin D can jack up your whole life. But it can.

I kind of want to evangelize about it but I don't want to be annoying. But taking vitamin D gave me back my LIFE again, my WILL to have my life again. God I feel better.

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Vitamin D Apparently Fixes Everything

For the past few years, I've been overwhelmed with tired. People would tell me "You have three kids, you have two special needs kids, you have four kids, you work full time, your life is stressful, you made the Kessel Run in 12 Parsecs - OF COURSE YOU ARE TIRED."
But, they didn't get it. I wasn't tired. I was dead.
It didn't matter how much I slept. I woke up every day not with a sense of dread and depression, but with this desperate mood of "How long until I can get back into bed."
If I sat still too long, I'd fall asleep. I wouldn't even remember laying down at night, that's how quickly I was asleep every night.
As for how I was feeling otherwise, long days of overwhelming fatigue and aching and just feeling like I can't do this one more day, yet the next day would come and the next and the next and more days than I can remember yet I never felt better.
It never got better.

My husband had to start seeing a rheumatologist for several autoimmune disorders, and because of my family history, he signed me up for an appointment. When I went, I told her about my family history and she checked me for all the joint paint and did lots of Xrays then ordered ALL the bloodwork.

I will assume it was ALL the bloodwork as they took 8 vials.

The result was, no rheumatoid arthritis, no psoriatic arthritis, no lupus, no nothing really glaring , a bit of osteoarthritis in my old bad knee from basketball, but "only" a  bit.

However, my vitamin D? Didn't really HAVE any. My score was like 7. I don't know out of "what".

So she put me on a dose that is like 50,000 units a week plus I take supplements every day.

The first two weeks I didn't feel any change and was about to call bullshit when.....I woke up one day.

And I felt really good.

LIKE A HUMAN AGAIN.

I wake up every day feeling good. I don't spend my day counting how long until I can go to sleep. People at work talk about being tired and I realized, I'm not. It's like suddenly I AM ME AGAIN and I can't believe something as simple as vitamin D can jack up your whole life. But it can.

I kind of want to evangelize about it but I don't want to be annoying. But taking vitamin D gave me back my LIFE again, my WILL to have my life again. God I feel better.

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Remember That Time I Had a Heart Attack?

Neither do I.

Well and that's overly dramatic, because they're not sure what exactly is going on. But I was being a responsible adult yesterday and having a physical with my general physician and as they are doing my EKG he FROWNS.
Then he looks at me, and back at the paper and says, "Have you been having chest pains?"

Ummmm. No.

He then says they are going to run the EKG for a few more minutes, have me lie down part of the time, have me sit up part of the time, all the while he is frowning.

Then he shows it to me.

You know how your heart beat on the EKG paper goes UP UP UP in beats? One of mine goes down. Which is bizarre. It's also a change from my last EKG which he pulled out of my file. So something has changed.

I looked it up, and it's either indicative that I had a heart attack, might have a heart attack or it's benign and means nothing at all. On many levels, that's just like everyone else on the planet.

But I'm kind of disconcerted for sure.

Next we'll do a stress test and figure out if I need to do more tests after that.

Stupid mortality. Stop knocking at my door. I got four tiny humans and one big one who need me.

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Remember That Time I Had a Heart Attack?

Neither do I.

Well and that's overly dramatic, because they're not sure what exactly is going on. But I was being a responsible adult yesterday and having a physical with my general physician and as they are doing my EKG he FROWNS.
Then he looks at me, and back at the paper and says, "Have you been having chest pains?"

Ummmm. No.

He then says they are going to run the EKG for a few more minutes, have me lie down part of the time, have me sit up part of the time, all the while he is frowning.

Then he shows it to me.

You know how your heart beat on the EKG paper goes UP UP UP in beats? One of mine goes down. Which is bizarre. It's also a change from my last EKG which he pulled out of my file. So something has changed.

I looked it up, and it's either indicative that I had a heart attack, might have a heart attack or it's benign and means nothing at all. On many levels, that's just like everyone else on the planet.

But I'm kind of disconcerted for sure.

Next we'll do a stress test and figure out if I need to do more tests after that.

Stupid mortality. Stop knocking at my door. I got four tiny humans and one big one who need me.

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Gall Stone SNEAK ATTACK

I am not sure you are aware, but you gallbladder has ninja-like forces waiting to do you harm. It's true. You'll be sitting about(or sleeping), minding your own business and WHAM......suddenly it's 4am and you're in screaming agony without explanation and then the next thing you know it's all flashing lights and men in blue uniforms asking questions quietly as they load up up to take you away.
Yeah.
I've had this PAIN I get every once in a blue moon, and a doctor told me it was probably ulcer, given my history of reflux and bad acid issues.
But early this AM......well, it wasn't like it was in the past. It was the same PAIN, in fact - but it wasn't going away, it wasn't subsiding or calming. It was getting fiercer and fiercer and well.......it was that cliche they use - IT WAS BLINDING.
I could barely think through it.
You know you're in a lot of pain when the EMTs are repeatedly poking you and commenting on your small veins, and you don't much care. By the time I got to the hospital, the pain killer I had taken in vain at home had kicked in - exactly enough to make me tired but still in pain.
I told them I thought it was an ulcer but as soon as they heard I'd never had official ulcer diagnosis they pulled all out all the big guns for testing and came back with the unexpected
"you have a large gallstone in the NECK of your gallbladder."

My gallbladder has a neck? What?
I had wondered if something unusual was up during the ultrasound when the tech kept trying "to see if it was moving" but truthfully, by then I'd had more pain killer and this and that pumped into the IV and well......I didn't much care.

So I've slept the day away, eaten broth, baked potato and toast and in general felt kinda crummy. But the agony is gone. They say it was moving, that this was causing the pain.

And I have to go see the surgeon this next week or soon. Because I have to have it dealt with.

I am so not excited.

Gall Stone SNEAK ATTACK

I am not sure you are aware, but you gallbladder has ninja-like forces waiting to do you harm. It's true. You'll be sitting about(or sleeping), minding your own business and WHAM......suddenly it's 4am and you're in screaming agony without explanation and then the next thing you know it's all flashing lights and men in blue uniforms asking questions quietly as they load up up to take you away.
Yeah.
I've had this PAIN I get every once in a blue moon, and a doctor told me it was probably ulcer, given my history of reflux and bad acid issues.
But early this AM......well, it wasn't like it was in the past. It was the same PAIN, in fact - but it wasn't going away, it wasn't subsiding or calming. It was getting fiercer and fiercer and well.......it was that cliche they use - IT WAS BLINDING.
I could barely think through it.
You know you're in a lot of pain when the EMTs are repeatedly poking you and commenting on your small veins, and you don't much care. By the time I got to the hospital, the pain killer I had taken in vain at home had kicked in - exactly enough to make me tired but still in pain.
I told them I thought it was an ulcer but as soon as they heard I'd never had official ulcer diagnosis they pulled all out all the big guns for testing and came back with the unexpected
"you have a large gallstone in the NECK of your gallbladder."

My gallbladder has a neck? What?
I had wondered if something unusual was up during the ultrasound when the tech kept trying "to see if it was moving" but truthfully, by then I'd had more pain killer and this and that pumped into the IV and well......I didn't much care.

So I've slept the day away, eaten broth, baked potato and toast and in general felt kinda crummy. But the agony is gone. They say it was moving, that this was causing the pain.

And I have to go see the surgeon this next week or soon. Because I have to have it dealt with.

I am so not excited.