A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

I Don't Even Know WTF

With a normal/typical child, if you have behavior issues you have options. You can talk to them, you can use various forms of discipline, from spanking to taking away privileges and beyond. But for an autistic child expressing a behavior that is beyond the acceptable by many leagues, your options become a maze of "I wonder" and "I hope".

This laughing giggling little boy on the left has turned into someone I can't recognize, at least some of the time.

It started a few days ago, he runs at Charlie and hit him. Full on slugs him. Sometimes he does a very artful karate kick. Charlie thinks it's funny sometimes, sometimes he doesn't. Mostly not. Charlie is much less developed in terms of maturity than Miles, and he innocently sets himself up for it over and over. However sometimes all the set up that is required is that he's in the room.

On the school bus, he's started spitting and screaming. This makes no sense. He LOVES school. He LOVES the school bus. He's ecstatic when the bus shows up every day. He says School Bus! He claps and laughs. If we can't wait on the porch because of the freezing he gets upset - he wants to GO.

But once the bus pulls away he spits, and spits and spits. Apparently he also screams and hits.

The past two days we've gotten calls from school. Out of control is the phrase they are using.

He's spitting, he's hitting. He doesn't care about time out. Or if he does, he's screaming hysterically. Yesterday we came to get him early because they were afraid the bus driver wouldn't take him.

I come home from work today, after day two and he's resting in our bed. I snuggle up to him and he asks for a hug and I give him one. And he lays there, content as can be. He's my sweet little Miles snuggling and loving on his Mommy. Charlie's scratched up hands tell the tale of the OTHER Miles.

I'm frustrated because honestly, I don't even know what we're supposed to do. We're going to try to use a positive reinforcement thing we've done in the past - totally giving the kid soda pop when he's good. Don't judge, any port in a storm. You don't live it you don't know.

I also think, seriously, the school has ALL these resources and professional training- don't they ever encounter this? What's their game plan then? Is it ALWAYS just CALL the parent? They have professionals on staff, tons of them in fact, psychologists and various behavior experts. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO, EXPERTS? Tell me some sage advice.

Because my little boy isn't this person doing this stuff. Except that he IS the person doing this stuff.

And I don't know how to help him.