A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Dear Steve Harvey, I Do Not Accept Your Apology

I rarely watch ranty or emotional videos on Facebook. Usually they're trite, or annoying, or frankly I just don't have time. My life can be stressful enough without adding other people's emotional baggage to it.
However today, one scrolling past my feed caught my attention. Steve Harvey making fun of a special needs child via a character on his show was the subject. An angry mother of an autistic child could not contain her rage, or frankly her sorrow, that a developmentally delayed child was the source of some hardeeharharhar humor.
This is her video. Watch it. Watch it and hear her.

Now hear me.

There's a lot that goes into an Autism mom and frankly I don't ever let anyone inside because there are parts of this life that are hell. They are physical hell. They are emotional hell. You don't know our hell. And you know what else? Mocking a special needs person OF ANY SORT is base and common. It's pathetic. Why would you do that? Laugh and joke about someone who is disabled, someone who is innocent and helpless against your bullying?

My day is full of moments I don't share. I met one of my sons teacher and he discussed with me the "functional" skills he'd be working on and that we'd be making a plan for some independence for the rest of his life. Except, the sort of independence he'll have will possibly be potty training, possibly being able to fasten his own pants. If we could teach him to open his own yogurt, that too might be nice. Is that funny? He moans. He was just screaming hysterically down the hall from me for some autism reason I can't define. Oh my gosh that IS funny isn't it? Well it's not amen for sure.

Or is it, you ass? HOW DO YOU KNOW? Your God doesn't speak the language of the autistic is that it?

Sometimes driving home I burst into tears. Why? Because I worry about dying. I don't worry about me, of course I'm going to die, everyone is. But what is going to happen to these babies when I die? Who will make sure they are safe? Who will protect them? I know all the things they need, I know what the mean.

I understand their moans.

I read them Goodnight Moon as our last story every night and I wonder if I will still be reading it when they are 30. I think I will. Sometimes my voice catches and my oldest son will hug me and promise to read to them when I can't.

I think of the burden that they will be to either my oldest or my youngest. Yet they are their brothers and they love them. At least I have them.

This life is hard. The fact that the idea of someone taking their special needs child to CHURCH of all place is a comedy piece is mindboggling to me. Isn't everyone supposed to be welcome at church? EVERYONE? Are you even FAMILIAR with Jesus? He said some really nice things. MOST OF THEM WERE ABOUT LOVING ONE ANOTHER.

This is just a ridiculous apology as well. This is not an apology. This is like saying "I'm sorry you are offended." If this was about RACE there would be no question, but the idea that because it's about someone disabled that "oh we need to lighten up" is absolutely offensive.


Two of my Children are mentally disabled because of autism and apparently they are a comedy routine if I take them to church. Thanks Steve Harvey, you've given me one more reason never to take them. Well done. You're a bully and should be ashamed.