A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Was This Something You Wanted?

I could make a list of retarded things that have been said to me while I was pregnant with each pregnancy, starting with the fact that when we said we were naming our oldest after Louis Armstrong we got reactions such as
" Oh he just won the Tour de France right?" and "Oh first man on the moon, COOL!" and other equally idiotic statements........some of them have been instrusive, rude, bizarre......and just - otherwordly.

But I've decided I had it this weekend, and the next person who says something insane to me is gonna get it.

Upon talking to someone I've known AT LEAST two years, and I'd sort of loosely call a friend - more of an acquaintance whose crazy I can tolerate...I informed this person that no I couldn't participate in XYZ (for like the 3rd time btw) because I AM 8 MONTHS PREGNANT (soon to be nine!) and I just can't take on anything new.
First reaction? Not congratulations, not WOW even.......it was "Was this something you wanted?"

I held my tongue but seriously, bite my ass. WHAT A RUDE EFFING THING TO SAY TO AN 8 MONTH PREGNANT WOMAN. No. No it's not, I just don't know how to keep from getting pregnant in the year 2010 - can you help me? OH LORDIE I JUST WISH THERE WAS SOME METHOD TO KEEP THESE BABIES FROM BEING HEAPED UPON ME IN THIS LIFE.

It's 2010. Moron. You don't have to have babies if you don't want babies. I'm a married woman for god's sake. My husband and I have used birth control for 2 out of 13 years so do you THINK WE WANT BABIES??? YES WE EFFING DO. WE LOVE BABIES.

Sigh, the idiocy and thoughtlessness of this statement just made my blood boil. See, I could even see these words coming out of the mouth of your VERY best friend - tentatively-upon learning you are JUST newly pregnant, because maybe they aren't sure how you feel and want to be supportive either way. But you know, at 8 months, I'm clearly down with the sickness here so really.......why would you heap such negativity upon my baby girl? Because YOU have issues?

I'm sorry that being pregnant and having babies isn't something you consider to be a privilege and a gift. It is. I couldn't be happier. And I refuse to let you rain on my parade.



Kitty O'toole said...

Dear god, some folks are DUMB..that's just....and epic dumbness isn't it?

I'm going to be 37 this year and don't have any children, nor do I want any. I never have..but kudos to anyone who does because parenting is the HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD..perhaps that's why some people fail at it because they don't understand that before they have any kids. Me, I fully understand that and because I am intrinsically lazy I know I won't be joining in:)Anyway, back to my point; whenever I say I don't have kids I get one of the following: "Awww..poor you" "Oh you will have one day" "Why not- what's wrong with you? Can't you have any?" "Don't you think that's wierd? " etc...
My doc will not sterilise me, which I find amazingly offensive, so I have to keep putting up with implant after implant until I reach such an age where I can finally convince them I know my own body and occasionally my mind. That will be when I am 77 I guess...
Anyway, back to your story,how many times afterwards when you replayed that in your mind did you karate chop her to the head for being such an ignoramus?