Now With Less Medication

Well I've survived 4 days post surgery and I think that's a win. The first 48 hours were fairly much a drug induced nightmare. The pain wasn't unmanageable, it was simply unknown and scary. My own disorientation due to the anesthesia and the massive amounts of pain killers and anti-nausea I was given at the hospital made that time just very disjointed to me. Time wasn't real.
I think I got up and posted various places and did stuff which was probably a mistake as I was completely coherent only for short patches of time.
Now I'm sort of settled into the ongoing real pain that's left behind. My own aches and pains at being lethargic and not moving around enough are also causing me discomfort.
But none of it is overwhelming or mind numbing sort of stuff.

My belly button looks bloodier than I remember it - but then I wonder if maybe I never looked at it properly a day or two ago. One of the twins jumped on my stomach yesterday, so that has me worried- is that why the belly button is bloody? But then back to the question WAS IT ALREADY BLOODY?

Sigh. I gotta ask the husband.

And it's so hard to be so grotesque in front of the one you love. I mean, giving birth is grotesque but you know, you're producing his CHILD so you gotta take the bad with the good. But this, this is just GROSS. There's nothing warm and fuzzy to bond you even closer when it's all done......just scars and bloody incisions.

"Honey, I can't poop - what do you recommend?"

Sigh, long term relationships are designed to kill romance aren't they?

Isn't it odd though, that despite my 4 days since a shower, bloody bandaged, smelly self I'm so in love the past three days. I never tell him enough. He takes care of me all the time, I'm like the most irresponsible adult on the planet when I'm at home. But I never notice until I've got stitches and he's literally waiting on me hand and foot.

When in fact it's probably only about a 20% increase in the amount of care he normally gives me.

I'm such a lame adult, I swear. But God I love him.