The oldest boy came in to the kitchen last night and proclaimed "Mom! I learned how to keep my farts silent!"
There was a part of me that really just wanted to say "Oh that's nice" and move along but still - I was curious if the boy had truly discovered the Grail of Fart Etiquette.
After all - he's a boy - they embrace their farts whereas we females tend to not be so loving toward them.
He explained the process to me but I'm not convinced it's a secret so much as the boy got lucky and didn't crank off a flapper. He alleges that he just THINKS about it and that it's all about control.
I'm going to make him some chilli and see if his method still foolproof.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Silent but Deadly 101
The oldest boy came in to the kitchen last night and proclaimed "Mom! I learned how to keep my farts silent!"
There was a part of me that really just wanted to say "Oh that's nice" and move along but still - I was curious if the boy had truly discovered the Grail of Fart Etiquette.
After all - he's a boy - they embrace their farts whereas we females tend to not be so loving toward them.
He explained the process to me but I'm not convinced it's a secret so much as the boy got lucky and didn't crank off a flapper. He alleges that he just THINKS about it and that it's all about control.
I'm going to make him some chilli and see if his method still foolproof.
There was a part of me that really just wanted to say "Oh that's nice" and move along but still - I was curious if the boy had truly discovered the Grail of Fart Etiquette.
After all - he's a boy - they embrace their farts whereas we females tend to not be so loving toward them.
He explained the process to me but I'm not convinced it's a secret so much as the boy got lucky and didn't crank off a flapper. He alleges that he just THINKS about it and that it's all about control.
I'm going to make him some chilli and see if his method still foolproof.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Something's Going To Happen. Something Wonderful.
You don't always know when the last conversation you have with someone will be. Hell, it's likely you don't even remember when the first conversation was.
But Dec 8 transformed for me yesterday, from being the day that John Lennon died - to the day I had my first conversation.
With a five year old boy, who is autistic.
In my bleary eyed o'dark hundred rush to get the non-sick twin out the door to school, I was parked on the coffee table slippin on shoes and socks and singing along to Sesame Street when a little voice, as clear as a bell asked,"Where Charlie?"
I froze.
He reached out his foot to remind me what I was at, and I continue as I answered him."Charlie is sick. No school today for Charlie. He had to stay home."
He sat there for a moment and then said,"School Today. Go to school today."
I realized he was watching me very pointedly so I said,"No, Charlie has to stay home.No school today. Will you tell Miss Jenna Charlie is sick?"
He smiled and said "Charlie sick."
I'd stop there and be amazed and all teary eyed at this breakthrough - except it doesn't stop there. I emailed his teacher when I got to work, because I was SO excited about this and she emailed me back later.
While they were naming who was at school that day, she asked Miles "Where is Charlie?"
And at first he stared at her confused, but then piped up and said "No school today. School tomorrow."
He gets it. Suddenly, something inside him is getting it.
December 8. The first day I ever had a conversation with my son.
I can't wait to find out what else he has to say.
But Dec 8 transformed for me yesterday, from being the day that John Lennon died - to the day I had my first conversation.
With a five year old boy, who is autistic.
In my bleary eyed o'dark hundred rush to get the non-sick twin out the door to school, I was parked on the coffee table slippin on shoes and socks and singing along to Sesame Street when a little voice, as clear as a bell asked,"Where Charlie?"
I froze.
He reached out his foot to remind me what I was at, and I continue as I answered him."Charlie is sick. No school today for Charlie. He had to stay home."
He sat there for a moment and then said,"School Today. Go to school today."
I realized he was watching me very pointedly so I said,"No, Charlie has to stay home.No school today. Will you tell Miss Jenna Charlie is sick?"
He smiled and said "Charlie sick."
I'd stop there and be amazed and all teary eyed at this breakthrough - except it doesn't stop there. I emailed his teacher when I got to work, because I was SO excited about this and she emailed me back later.
While they were naming who was at school that day, she asked Miles "Where is Charlie?"
And at first he stared at her confused, but then piped up and said "No school today. School tomorrow."
He gets it. Suddenly, something inside him is getting it.
December 8. The first day I ever had a conversation with my son.
I can't wait to find out what else he has to say.
Something's Going To Happen. Something Wonderful.
You don't always know when the last conversation you have with someone will be. Hell, it's likely you don't even remember when the first conversation was.
But Dec 8 transformed for me yesterday, from being the day that John Lennon died - to the day I had my first conversation.
With a five year old boy, who is autistic.
In my bleary eyed o'dark hundred rush to get the non-sick twin out the door to school, I was parked on the coffee table slippin on shoes and socks and singing along to Sesame Street when a little voice, as clear as a bell asked,"Where Charlie?"
I froze.
He reached out his foot to remind me what I was at, and I continue as I answered him."Charlie is sick. No school today for Charlie. He had to stay home."
He sat there for a moment and then said,"School Today. Go to school today."
I realized he was watching me very pointedly so I said,"No, Charlie has to stay home.No school today. Will you tell Miss Jenna Charlie is sick?"
He smiled and said "Charlie sick."
I'd stop there and be amazed and all teary eyed at this breakthrough - except it doesn't stop there. I emailed his teacher when I got to work, because I was SO excited about this and she emailed me back later.
While they were naming who was at school that day, she asked Miles "Where is Charlie?"
And at first he stared at her confused, but then piped up and said "No school today. School tomorrow."
He gets it. Suddenly, something inside him is getting it.
December 8. The first day I ever had a conversation with my son.
I can't wait to find out what else he has to say.
But Dec 8 transformed for me yesterday, from being the day that John Lennon died - to the day I had my first conversation.
With a five year old boy, who is autistic.
In my bleary eyed o'dark hundred rush to get the non-sick twin out the door to school, I was parked on the coffee table slippin on shoes and socks and singing along to Sesame Street when a little voice, as clear as a bell asked,"Where Charlie?"
I froze.
He reached out his foot to remind me what I was at, and I continue as I answered him."Charlie is sick. No school today for Charlie. He had to stay home."
He sat there for a moment and then said,"School Today. Go to school today."
I realized he was watching me very pointedly so I said,"No, Charlie has to stay home.No school today. Will you tell Miss Jenna Charlie is sick?"
He smiled and said "Charlie sick."
I'd stop there and be amazed and all teary eyed at this breakthrough - except it doesn't stop there. I emailed his teacher when I got to work, because I was SO excited about this and she emailed me back later.
While they were naming who was at school that day, she asked Miles "Where is Charlie?"
And at first he stared at her confused, but then piped up and said "No school today. School tomorrow."
He gets it. Suddenly, something inside him is getting it.
December 8. The first day I ever had a conversation with my son.
I can't wait to find out what else he has to say.
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime
Oh it's Christmas It's CHRIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAAS!!
I'm so stoked. We kicked off our holiday season with our annual trek to the twins club Christmas party where there crafts and cookies to decorate!
Plus we saw the most handsome Mr and Mrs Klaus I've seen in a long time! I can't wait to see the pics!
After the party we went to a small town near us for their holiday celebration.
And there were marshmallows for toasting and carolling out in the snow..........ok we didn't get snow but we were supposed to! It was cold as shite though!
Pro Tip - when giving away free smore making stuff. Please don't leave the chocolate out in the freezing cold for hours prior. It makes the delicious melted burned up marshmallow and graham crackers hard to eat when the chocolate is LIKE ICE.
I'm just saying.
Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime
Oh it's Christmas It's CHRIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAAS!!
I'm so stoked. We kicked off our holiday season with our annual trek to the twins club Christmas party where there crafts and cookies to decorate!
Plus we saw the most handsome Mr and Mrs Klaus I've seen in a long time! I can't wait to see the pics!
After the party we went to a small town near us for their holiday celebration.
And there were marshmallows for toasting and carolling out in the snow..........ok we didn't get snow but we were supposed to! It was cold as shite though!
Pro Tip - when giving away free smore making stuff. Please don't leave the chocolate out in the freezing cold for hours prior. It makes the delicious melted burned up marshmallow and graham crackers hard to eat when the chocolate is LIKE ICE.
I'm just saying.
Friday, December 04, 2009
NEVER QUESTION MY ALARM CLOCK ROUTINE
*Scenes from my bedroom this AM*
I open my eyes. Blink. It's really light in here. Why is it so bright. What time is it? 8am. Why is that wrong? 8am. Think- what time does the bus come?
Oh yes - odark hundred that is what time.
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!
I stumble out of bed and walk to the computer to verify the time. First of all my alarm clock is like off. Second of all. We're late.
In what might be one of the greatest feats of calm of my life, I simply get all three kids up, dress them at the same time and take them downstairs for breakfast.
Then we all pile into the car and first we take the twins and drop them off and since they normally eat breakfast at school they have made it in time for morning work. Then I take the big boy and he isn't late at all.
I remember I need my glucose for my glucose tolerance test, remember I need to reset the alarm for the husband-first correcting the time-grab the glucose and my lunch which I had forgotten and I'm out the door.
Halfway to work I start to feel nauseous and sick, I didn't eat so my stomach is now screaming for food. I rushed so much I forgot the first rule of parenting - attach your own oxygen mask before assisting others with theirs. So, I swing into mcdonalds for a sausage mcmuffin - no coke, can't have sugar beverages today.
I zoom to work, sit down eat..............and realize I'm eating GREASE.
And I'm sure you'll be delighted to know I've been to the restroom 4 times.
Happy Friday!
***post script. I believe that all of this happened because my husband cursed me. Last night he said "Why don't you just set your alarm clock for the time you WANT to get up vs it being a fake time and resetting it after 20 minutes etc" (I had this whole routine). I staunchly defended my routine stating that I knew for a fact how WELL it worked and it was fine.
Perhaps that was some punishment from the fates for too much hubris and not a curse after all, eh?
I open my eyes. Blink. It's really light in here. Why is it so bright. What time is it? 8am. Why is that wrong? 8am. Think- what time does the bus come?
Oh yes - odark hundred that is what time.
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!
I stumble out of bed and walk to the computer to verify the time. First of all my alarm clock is like off. Second of all. We're late.
In what might be one of the greatest feats of calm of my life, I simply get all three kids up, dress them at the same time and take them downstairs for breakfast.
Then we all pile into the car and first we take the twins and drop them off and since they normally eat breakfast at school they have made it in time for morning work. Then I take the big boy and he isn't late at all.
I remember I need my glucose for my glucose tolerance test, remember I need to reset the alarm for the husband-first correcting the time-grab the glucose and my lunch which I had forgotten and I'm out the door.
Halfway to work I start to feel nauseous and sick, I didn't eat so my stomach is now screaming for food. I rushed so much I forgot the first rule of parenting - attach your own oxygen mask before assisting others with theirs. So, I swing into mcdonalds for a sausage mcmuffin - no coke, can't have sugar beverages today.
I zoom to work, sit down eat..............and realize I'm eating GREASE.
And I'm sure you'll be delighted to know I've been to the restroom 4 times.
Happy Friday!
***post script. I believe that all of this happened because my husband cursed me. Last night he said "Why don't you just set your alarm clock for the time you WANT to get up vs it being a fake time and resetting it after 20 minutes etc" (I had this whole routine). I staunchly defended my routine stating that I knew for a fact how WELL it worked and it was fine.
Perhaps that was some punishment from the fates for too much hubris and not a curse after all, eh?
NEVER QUESTION MY ALARM CLOCK ROUTINE
*Scenes from my bedroom this AM*
I open my eyes. Blink. It's really light in here. Why is it so bright. What time is it? 8am. Why is that wrong? 8am. Think- what time does the bus come?
Oh yes - odark hundred that is what time.
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!
I stumble out of bed and walk to the computer to verify the time. First of all my alarm clock is like off. Second of all. We're late.
In what might be one of the greatest feats of calm of my life, I simply get all three kids up, dress them at the same time and take them downstairs for breakfast.
Then we all pile into the car and first we take the twins and drop them off and since they normally eat breakfast at school they have made it in time for morning work. Then I take the big boy and he isn't late at all.
I remember I need my glucose for my glucose tolerance test, remember I need to reset the alarm for the husband-first correcting the time-grab the glucose and my lunch which I had forgotten and I'm out the door.
Halfway to work I start to feel nauseous and sick, I didn't eat so my stomach is now screaming for food. I rushed so much I forgot the first rule of parenting - attach your own oxygen mask before assisting others with theirs. So, I swing into mcdonalds for a sausage mcmuffin - no coke, can't have sugar beverages today.
I zoom to work, sit down eat..............and realize I'm eating GREASE.
And I'm sure you'll be delighted to know I've been to the restroom 4 times.
Happy Friday!
***post script. I believe that all of this happened because my husband cursed me. Last night he said "Why don't you just set your alarm clock for the time you WANT to get up vs it being a fake time and resetting it after 20 minutes etc" (I had this whole routine). I staunchly defended my routine stating that I knew for a fact how WELL it worked and it was fine.
Perhaps that was some punishment from the fates for too much hubris and not a curse after all, eh?
I open my eyes. Blink. It's really light in here. Why is it so bright. What time is it? 8am. Why is that wrong? 8am. Think- what time does the bus come?
Oh yes - odark hundred that is what time.
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!
I stumble out of bed and walk to the computer to verify the time. First of all my alarm clock is like off. Second of all. We're late.
In what might be one of the greatest feats of calm of my life, I simply get all three kids up, dress them at the same time and take them downstairs for breakfast.
Then we all pile into the car and first we take the twins and drop them off and since they normally eat breakfast at school they have made it in time for morning work. Then I take the big boy and he isn't late at all.
I remember I need my glucose for my glucose tolerance test, remember I need to reset the alarm for the husband-first correcting the time-grab the glucose and my lunch which I had forgotten and I'm out the door.
Halfway to work I start to feel nauseous and sick, I didn't eat so my stomach is now screaming for food. I rushed so much I forgot the first rule of parenting - attach your own oxygen mask before assisting others with theirs. So, I swing into mcdonalds for a sausage mcmuffin - no coke, can't have sugar beverages today.
I zoom to work, sit down eat..............and realize I'm eating GREASE.
And I'm sure you'll be delighted to know I've been to the restroom 4 times.
Happy Friday!
***post script. I believe that all of this happened because my husband cursed me. Last night he said "Why don't you just set your alarm clock for the time you WANT to get up vs it being a fake time and resetting it after 20 minutes etc" (I had this whole routine). I staunchly defended my routine stating that I knew for a fact how WELL it worked and it was fine.
Perhaps that was some punishment from the fates for too much hubris and not a curse after all, eh?
