WWC - Conform and Rebel

I rarely if EVER participate in the WWC but man I love to go check it out. I'm alway interested in how everyone says the words.
I knew exactly what photos I would post when I saw the words.
This weeks first word is CONFORM.......
This is a shot of the twins on their first morning waking up in their toddler beds. I had expected them to be on the floor when I went to get them, honestly.

The other word for this week is REBEL........
MY children refuse to sit still for the group picture at the Halloween party. The party I was the hostess for......nice!

WWC - Conform and Rebel

I rarely if EVER participate in the WWC but man I love to go check it out. I'm alway interested in how everyone says the words.
I knew exactly what photos I would post when I saw the words.
This weeks first word is CONFORM.......
This is a shot of the twins on their first morning waking up in their toddler beds. I had expected them to be on the floor when I went to get them, honestly.

The other word for this week is REBEL........
MY children refuse to sit still for the group picture at the Halloween party. The party I was the hostess for......nice!

Part Two - I am a BAD PARENT

I've quit paying attention to milestones. When they're in their first year we all keep track like crazy. Can they hold up their head? Can they smile? Do their eyes track moving objects? Can they hold a spoon?
Sometime after 18 months I swear I just stop paying attention. Maybe that isn't it. Maybe I just take all of the next stuff for granted - as in "Well they got all the early stuff I'm sure they'll get the rest." And then they blow me away.
Baby Birth of Cool sings songs I never taught him (seriously where is he learning them?). Baby Birdman colors with great intent choosing colors while coloring, not just using the one crayon he is first offered. And Little Satchmo brings me his piggy bank and offers me the money in it after I tell him he can't have something because mommy doesn't any money. "I should give this back if we don't have any money," he said.
So I'm celebrating a milestone today. A milestone that tore at my heart but was the right thing to do. We've moved the twins in with their big brother creating a "kids" room. Previously they still slept in baby beds in our room. I wouldn't go so far as to say that we're "attachment" parents but I will admit to having a thing about being able to hear my kids breathe. Consequently, I haven't had a decent nights sleep in 4 1/2 years.

Little Satchmo already had a rockin firetruck bed purchased by Grandma, so we picked up two toddler beds at Toys R Us. After having read about a BILLION threads on my twins mom forum regarding moving twins from baby beds to toddler beds I knew that it was going to be one HELL of an adjustment. So I tried to learn from everyone elses mistakes. We cleared out everything (ALL TOYS PEOPLE) except the beds and the dresser and put a gate up at the door. We were completely prepared for them to run like mad and act crazy all night, ending up sleeping on the floor.
I have to say, we were delightfully surprised. Everyone slept all night in their own beds without incident.

And that, my friends, is a milestone.

Part Two - I am a BAD PARENT

I've quit paying attention to milestones. When they're in their first year we all keep track like crazy. Can they hold up their head? Can they smile? Do their eyes track moving objects? Can they hold a spoon?
Sometime after 18 months I swear I just stop paying attention. Maybe that isn't it. Maybe I just take all of the next stuff for granted - as in "Well they got all the early stuff I'm sure they'll get the rest." And then they blow me away.
Baby Birth of Cool sings songs I never taught him (seriously where is he learning them?). Baby Birdman colors with great intent choosing colors while coloring, not just using the one crayon he is first offered. And Little Satchmo brings me his piggy bank and offers me the money in it after I tell him he can't have something because mommy doesn't any money. "I should give this back if we don't have any money," he said.
So I'm celebrating a milestone today. A milestone that tore at my heart but was the right thing to do. We've moved the twins in with their big brother creating a "kids" room. Previously they still slept in baby beds in our room. I wouldn't go so far as to say that we're "attachment" parents but I will admit to having a thing about being able to hear my kids breathe. Consequently, I haven't had a decent nights sleep in 4 1/2 years.

Little Satchmo already had a rockin firetruck bed purchased by Grandma, so we picked up two toddler beds at Toys R Us. After having read about a BILLION threads on my twins mom forum regarding moving twins from baby beds to toddler beds I knew that it was going to be one HELL of an adjustment. So I tried to learn from everyone elses mistakes. We cleared out everything (ALL TOYS PEOPLE) except the beds and the dresser and put a gate up at the door. We were completely prepared for them to run like mad and act crazy all night, ending up sleeping on the floor.
I have to say, we were delightfully surprised. Everyone slept all night in their own beds without incident.

And that, my friends, is a milestone.

You Are a Bad Parent

I don't mean YOU specifically.

Or do I?

Possibly not, especially if I love you and care about you and know you more intimately than the passing BAD PARENTS I run into.  I know, just like you know, that the spurts of insane child behavior are not reflective or my or your parenting.  I know that this isn't how things go normally.

But sometimes, just sometimes, when I'm watching on other peoples parenting........I'm just stunned.  Occasionally horrified.

I am never, EVER stunned in the "wow they're too hard on their kids" way.

I am consistently shocked at the "Wow....they've completely lost the whip hand with that one" way.   And I think the phrase "the whip hand" should come BACK into heavy usage.  I think I'm going to bring it back.

Let's reflect on some recent parenting I've seen.

Here is a child with their parent in a setting where the parent is trying to speak to other adults.  Now, my 4 year old goes out of his way to be a booger when I'm on the phone - so I get the whole "I WANT ATTENTION" behavior.  I do.  This child is hitting and kicking their parent.  HARD.   Hitting and hitting and hitting.

Let's forget that this is some seriously violent behavior for the under 5 set......let's focus on the parental reaction.

The parent pulls out my least favorite parenting phrase of the new millennia.

"I want you to think about your choices.  You need to make good choices."

 

I think that I am going to slap the next parent I hear say those words.  

Or perhaps I'll say this.

"Excuse me, I'd like you to think about YOUR parenting choices.  You see, you've chosen to allow aggressive/violent/disrespectful/unkind/generally bratty behavior to go unchecked.  You're ignoring a tantrum, which I understand, but you're also not addressing your child as a human.  You're not addressing what is driving this behavior and either curbing it with discipline or redirection, and you're not teaching positive social skills to your child.   You're not parenting because you are embarrassed by your child's unbelievable bad behavior.  Please understand,  those of us with children realize that they do crazy, unpredictable things, and that sometimes you have to step in and BE THEIR PARENT.  STOP THE MADNESS.   I'm tired of hearing your child scream like a lunatic, without you at least trying to stop the behavior.  It isn't normal and it isn't cute.    I take all three of my kids out to eat and out in public all the time.  Sometimes they are bad.  Mostly they are good.  WHY?  Because there are repercussions.  As a parent, you have to set the boundaries of expectation for social interaction.  And there have to be repercussions for violations of those expected behaviors.  Out in the world, as adults, the repercussion for bad behavior can be losing a job, getting beat up, arrested, losing friends etc.  We set our expectations for how we may behave toward others in childhood.

SET AN EXPECTATION."

 

Think about your choices.  You need to make good choices. 

 

Even when they are hard. 

You Are a Bad Parent

I don't mean YOU specifically.

Or do I?

Possibly not, especially if I love you and care about you and know you more intimately than the passing BAD PARENTS I run into.  I know, just like you know, that the spurts of insane child behavior are not reflective or my or your parenting.  I know that this isn't how things go normally.

But sometimes, just sometimes, when I'm watching on other peoples parenting........I'm just stunned.  Occasionally horrified.

I am never, EVER stunned in the "wow they're too hard on their kids" way.

I am consistently shocked at the "Wow....they've completely lost the whip hand with that one" way.   And I think the phrase "the whip hand" should come BACK into heavy usage.  I think I'm going to bring it back.

Let's reflect on some recent parenting I've seen.

Here is a child with their parent in a setting where the parent is trying to speak to other adults.  Now, my 4 year old goes out of his way to be a booger when I'm on the phone - so I get the whole "I WANT ATTENTION" behavior.  I do.  This child is hitting and kicking their parent.  HARD.   Hitting and hitting and hitting.

Let's forget that this is some seriously violent behavior for the under 5 set......let's focus on the parental reaction.

The parent pulls out my least favorite parenting phrase of the new millennia.

"I want you to think about your choices.  You need to make good choices."

 

I think that I am going to slap the next parent I hear say those words.  

Or perhaps I'll say this.

"Excuse me, I'd like you to think about YOUR parenting choices.  You see, you've chosen to allow aggressive/violent/disrespectful/unkind/generally bratty behavior to go unchecked.  You're ignoring a tantrum, which I understand, but you're also not addressing your child as a human.  You're not addressing what is driving this behavior and either curbing it with discipline or redirection, and you're not teaching positive social skills to your child.   You're not parenting because you are embarrassed by your child's unbelievable bad behavior.  Please understand,  those of us with children realize that they do crazy, unpredictable things, and that sometimes you have to step in and BE THEIR PARENT.  STOP THE MADNESS.   I'm tired of hearing your child scream like a lunatic, without you at least trying to stop the behavior.  It isn't normal and it isn't cute.    I take all three of my kids out to eat and out in public all the time.  Sometimes they are bad.  Mostly they are good.  WHY?  Because there are repercussions.  As a parent, you have to set the boundaries of expectation for social interaction.  And there have to be repercussions for violations of those expected behaviors.  Out in the world, as adults, the repercussion for bad behavior can be losing a job, getting beat up, arrested, losing friends etc.  We set our expectations for how we may behave toward others in childhood.

SET AN EXPECTATION."

 

Think about your choices.  You need to make good choices. 

 

Even when they are hard. 

Dan Zane said WHAT?

Ummm I was just watching "DAN ZANE'S HOUSE PARTY" and I like the little show.
It's cute.
And then I paid attention.......and the guy comes in and says "I'm sorry I'm late, it took me a while to get all these pants."
Dan Zanes says "What pants?"
and the guys says "The pants, you said you were having a pants party."

Ummm, did Dan Zanes invite this guy to a party in his pants?

Dan Zane said WHAT?

Ummm I was just watching "DAN ZANE'S HOUSE PARTY" and I like the little show.
It's cute.
And then I paid attention.......and the guy comes in and says "I'm sorry I'm late, it took me a while to get all these pants."
Dan Zanes says "What pants?"
and the guys says "The pants, you said you were having a pants party."

Ummm, did Dan Zanes invite this guy to a party in his pants?

An Open Letter to the Vandals In My Neighborhood

I realize that Sarah is doing an open letter but this one is unrelated to what she is participating in. I apologize if this seems like a rip off, but I've been composing this bit of a rant since 5 am.

Since my husband heard "Hey let's smash some pumpkins." outside our window and went dashing outside, but was too late. So here goes.

Dear Vandals,
I realize that smashing pumpkins is a fine activity honored by the toothless inbred soceity you descend from. But I would like to take a moment to speak on the subject, regardless. (Note to vandals, the word is regardless, not irregardless which is not a word).
I have this little boy who is four. I find him to be extremely sweet. He would share his drink (even if it is a special drink like chocolate milk or coke), his treats, his food with you so that you could taste something good. He would like to share things with you that he thinks are funny, so that you could laugh too. He picked out this pumpkin after much running up and down the rows of pumpkins and conferencing with his dad about which one is the best one for him.
He painted it with joy. He painted giant blue eyes and silly pink ears and declared "It's me!" and laughed. He looked at my pumpkin and said "Oh good job Mommy your pumpkin looks great!" Like I said - he's sweet.
He nearly jumped up and down when we set the pumpkins outside to decorate the front of our house. He was full of one word - joy.
He doesn't know bad people exist. He doesn't know stupid people exist who don't care about a little boys joy or his tears.
And he isn't going to find out today.
Luckily the maintenance team here does a clean sweep every Nov 1 and takes away all the pumpkins, so he won't find out.
And I'm not going to wish you ill. Because you're the sort of jerk off that an ill wind will find all on it's own. You'll say something stupid in a bar and get your ass kicked by someone much bigger and legitimately meaner than you. You're a small weak person who took pleasure in wrecking someone elses happiness. There were three pumpkins on our porch. But you took my little boy's.
You picked up JOY, and you smashed it on the ground as though it was nothing.

Shame on you.

An Open Letter to the Vandals In My Neighborhood

I realize that Sarah is doing an open letter but this one is unrelated to what she is participating in. I apologize if this seems like a rip off, but I've been composing this bit of a rant since 5 am.

Since my husband heard "Hey let's smash some pumpkins." outside our window and went dashing outside, but was too late. So here goes.

Dear Vandals,
I realize that smashing pumpkins is a fine activity honored by the toothless inbred soceity you descend from. But I would like to take a moment to speak on the subject, regardless. (Note to vandals, the word is regardless, not irregardless which is not a word).
I have this little boy who is four. I find him to be extremely sweet. He would share his drink (even if it is a special drink like chocolate milk or coke), his treats, his food with you so that you could taste something good. He would like to share things with you that he thinks are funny, so that you could laugh too. He picked out this pumpkin after much running up and down the rows of pumpkins and conferencing with his dad about which one is the best one for him.
He painted it with joy. He painted giant blue eyes and silly pink ears and declared "It's me!" and laughed. He looked at my pumpkin and said "Oh good job Mommy your pumpkin looks great!" Like I said - he's sweet.
He nearly jumped up and down when we set the pumpkins outside to decorate the front of our house. He was full of one word - joy.
He doesn't know bad people exist. He doesn't know stupid people exist who don't care about a little boys joy or his tears.
And he isn't going to find out today.
Luckily the maintenance team here does a clean sweep every Nov 1 and takes away all the pumpkins, so he won't find out.
And I'm not going to wish you ill. Because you're the sort of jerk off that an ill wind will find all on it's own. You'll say something stupid in a bar and get your ass kicked by someone much bigger and legitimately meaner than you. You're a small weak person who took pleasure in wrecking someone elses happiness. There were three pumpkins on our porch. But you took my little boy's.
You picked up JOY, and you smashed it on the ground as though it was nothing.

Shame on you.