A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Thursday, December 06, 2012

So You Went For The Girl?

Ok first of all, thats a super rude thing to say to someone. If you are in the habit of saying it, you should probably stop. You certainly shouldn't be saying it in front of someone's OTHER children, because the implication there is "man too bad you had all these boys, lucky you finally got the one you wanted."

But, since people the world over have no manners, I hear this a lot - even now.

You want the truth? It's more complicated than that.
Some people have spiritual beliefs that propel them in their reproduction. Whether it's "have as many children as you can" or some think they receive divine messages when it's time to have another baby, most people have a belief system I find.
I don't really have one of those, I'd freely admit we tried for and got another baby purely out of selfish reasons. Perhaps because we DID want the girl (we did). Some probably think we were looking for a do-over on the twins, possibly that's true in some way because how unfair is it that they're BOTH autistic?

But neither of those things are 100% true nor were they the driver behind us, as a family, deciding that we wanted that 4th baby.

The reason that we had #4 is simple. Someone was missing. We didn't know who. But we both felt it, this void at our dinner table. There was another little hand we were supposed to be holding. Someone else was supposed to be in this family. And I admit, I was exicted that it was a girl who joined us, I would also have been excited if it had been a boy.
She is making a noodle mustache
I don't know why she was supposed to be here, but I know in my heart she was.

Possibly, it's just to made noodle mustaches at the table during dinner.