A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.

Friday, April 02, 2010


Ok so I don't want to rave on like a lunatic about being pregnant because really, even I'm getting bored with it. But truthfully, now that I've tried the VERSION process, I'm filing it under ACK.

Mine didn't work.

That's the less dramatic version of the story.

The dramatic version would be that I truly believe I could've birthed her on the spot with less agony than what I went through as he tried to shove my giant baby into a position she had no interest in going to. I'm not sure that it's natural for a human to put their hands that deeply into your abdomen and have them not come up bloody.

I was as quiet as I could be though, during the process, because my #1 thought was that if he knew how badly this optional procedure was hurting me, he'd STOP. And the last thing I wanted him to do was stop.

But it didn't matter, and when it was all over I had the shakes from the terbutaline (sp?) they'd given me to relax my uterus and hopefully prevent the onset of labor. They brought me a zombie turkey sandwich (ask Homer Simpson if you don't get the reference) and some apple juice which I slugged down at about 1 I'm guessing. We'd arrived at 8:30.

Today I'm miserable. My entire stomach hurts like it was in a fight. And it lost. Which is hard to believe given it's SIZE.

So now the plan is, c section April 20. When I get there, after my spinal, he will try to turn her again. Apparently he can shove a lot harder when I can't feel the pain. Or if I go into labor, and they do a spinal, and the stars are aligned just right - again - he'll try to turn her. But she's a pretty big girl and only getting bigger. So we'll hope for the best but not hold our breath.

He's promising me I can have Versed as soon as the cord is cut, and right now, that's about all I'm looking forward to.


Frank said...

He had is hand so deep it was like one of those scam healers. I was expecting him to pull out a piece of liver any minute and say, "the demon is gone!".