When your husband (cleaning up the puke) says "I'm gonna need the 409.......and a butter knife."
OMG.
Stomach Flu has arrived.
Monday, January 12, 2009
How You Know the Puke is Extensive
When your husband (cleaning up the puke) says "I'm gonna need the 409.......and a butter knife."
OMG.
Stomach Flu has arrived.
OMG.
Stomach Flu has arrived.
Friday, January 09, 2009
48 Hours of eBay Customer Service - 180 Degrees of Satisfaction
In the last 48 hours I've had both the worst and the best service experience with eBay.
My company is having a Venetian Carnivale Masked ball in a week - and I need a cocktail or formal gown. My friend Cajsa suggested I check out eBay. I did some poking around - saw some interesting things (who knew they had clothes on eBay dude it's been too long) and so I decided to log in to watch some of them.
After all - one might be a winner.
I log in with my eBay sign on (surprisingly I remembered it - I knew it'd been FOREVER since I used it-translate=years) but when I logged in I got this wonky message.
"Your account has been deactivated due to inactivity. Click here and we'll call the phone number on your account file to verify your identity."
Umm, I don't know what number is on file but it isn't this one - so - I click the OTHER option to get a csr - a CHAT CSR which, if you are in the field you know is either one of the best or the worst in the room - depending on the culture.
THAT conversation went like this.
My company is having a Venetian Carnivale Masked ball in a week - and I need a cocktail or formal gown. My friend Cajsa suggested I check out eBay. I did some poking around - saw some interesting things (who knew they had clothes on eBay dude it's been too long) and so I decided to log in to watch some of them.
After all - one might be a winner.
I log in with my eBay sign on (surprisingly I remembered it - I knew it'd been FOREVER since I used it-translate=years) but when I logged in I got this wonky message.
"Your account has been deactivated due to inactivity. Click here and we'll call the phone number on your account file to verify your identity."
Umm, I don't know what number is on file but it isn't this one - so - I click the OTHER option to get a csr - a CHAT CSR which, if you are in the field you know is either one of the best or the worst in the room - depending on the culture.
THAT conversation went like this.
- CSR - Hi I'd be glad to help you can you verify the address as it appears on your account?
- ME - No I can't see my acct obviously - I don't know what is on it. It's been a long time. Here, it might be my Indianapolis address which was XXXXX.
- CSR - Nope, I'm sorry that isn't the address. I have one in Tampa.......
- ME - Oh, ok, then here is my Tampa address.........
- CSR - Great. That's the correct address. Now I just need to CALL you at the number on file....
- ME -Ummm, no, you can't do that - I haven't LIVED there in two years. That is why I'm contacting you.
- CSR - Oh......well then you'll just have to get a new account.
- ME - I don't want to get a new account. I want to use my account. Isn't there anything you can do - I can VERIFY all the Tampa but I haven't had that phone number in two years.
- CSR - Well you could send me over a faxed copy of a current utility bill from that address.
- ME -What? If I haven't lived there in two years, why would I have a utility bill? That doesn't make sense.
- CSR - Yeah I'm sorry you'll just want to open a new account.
- ME -So I have to open a new account because you can't just verify my info by making a phone call to a number I haven't had in two years?
- CSR -Yes - I'd just open a new account.
Sigh.
So today I TRIED. Guess what. I'm not ABLE to open a new account as my email address all tied up in the account that fucktard wouldn't open for me. So I go BACK into a chat session.
- ME -Hi (explains entire previous conversation) and can't open my account now and I want to use my SAME Account. Can you help me?
- CSR - Yes - just verify your account info for me at the Tampa address.
- ME - I do so.
- CSR -Please hold while I unlock your account.
- ME -I wait
- CSR -Thanks so much, you are unlocked! Welcome back to eBay!
Good God. Should it BE this hard? It's NOT Fort Knox people! National Security secrets are not traded on eBay.
Train your CSRs better eBay. You look like a bunch of chumps when your team can only spit out canned responses and can't actually solve problems.
48 Hours of eBay Customer Service - 180 Degrees of Satisfaction
In the last 48 hours I've had both the worst and the best service experience with eBay.
My company is having a Venetian Carnivale Masked ball in a week - and I need a cocktail or formal gown. My friend Cajsa suggested I check out eBay. I did some poking around - saw some interesting things (who knew they had clothes on eBay dude it's been too long) and so I decided to log in to watch some of them.
After all - one might be a winner.
I log in with my eBay sign on (surprisingly I remembered it - I knew it'd been FOREVER since I used it-translate=years) but when I logged in I got this wonky message.
"Your account has been deactivated due to inactivity. Click here and we'll call the phone number on your account file to verify your identity."
Umm, I don't know what number is on file but it isn't this one - so - I click the OTHER option to get a csr - a CHAT CSR which, if you are in the field you know is either one of the best or the worst in the room - depending on the culture.
THAT conversation went like this.
My company is having a Venetian Carnivale Masked ball in a week - and I need a cocktail or formal gown. My friend Cajsa suggested I check out eBay. I did some poking around - saw some interesting things (who knew they had clothes on eBay dude it's been too long) and so I decided to log in to watch some of them.
After all - one might be a winner.
I log in with my eBay sign on (surprisingly I remembered it - I knew it'd been FOREVER since I used it-translate=years) but when I logged in I got this wonky message.
"Your account has been deactivated due to inactivity. Click here and we'll call the phone number on your account file to verify your identity."
Umm, I don't know what number is on file but it isn't this one - so - I click the OTHER option to get a csr - a CHAT CSR which, if you are in the field you know is either one of the best or the worst in the room - depending on the culture.
THAT conversation went like this.
- CSR - Hi I'd be glad to help you can you verify the address as it appears on your account?
- ME - No I can't see my acct obviously - I don't know what is on it. It's been a long time. Here, it might be my Indianapolis address which was XXXXX.
- CSR - Nope, I'm sorry that isn't the address. I have one in Tampa.......
- ME - Oh, ok, then here is my Tampa address.........
- CSR - Great. That's the correct address. Now I just need to CALL you at the number on file....
- ME -Ummm, no, you can't do that - I haven't LIVED there in two years. That is why I'm contacting you.
- CSR - Oh......well then you'll just have to get a new account.
- ME - I don't want to get a new account. I want to use my account. Isn't there anything you can do - I can VERIFY all the Tampa but I haven't had that phone number in two years.
- CSR - Well you could send me over a faxed copy of a current utility bill from that address.
- ME -What? If I haven't lived there in two years, why would I have a utility bill? That doesn't make sense.
- CSR - Yeah I'm sorry you'll just want to open a new account.
- ME -So I have to open a new account because you can't just verify my info by making a phone call to a number I haven't had in two years?
- CSR -Yes - I'd just open a new account.
Sigh.
So today I TRIED. Guess what. I'm not ABLE to open a new account as my email address all tied up in the account that fucktard wouldn't open for me. So I go BACK into a chat session.
- ME -Hi (explains entire previous conversation) and can't open my account now and I want to use my SAME Account. Can you help me?
- CSR - Yes - just verify your account info for me at the Tampa address.
- ME - I do so.
- CSR -Please hold while I unlock your account.
- ME -I wait
- CSR -Thanks so much, you are unlocked! Welcome back to eBay!
Good God. Should it BE this hard? It's NOT Fort Knox people! National Security secrets are not traded on eBay.
Train your CSRs better eBay. You look like a bunch of chumps when your team can only spit out canned responses and can't actually solve problems.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
11 Years Ago Yesterday...(okay 8 Years Ago I can't Count)
...I stood idly picking my nail polish off, on a stalled Monorail between Epcot and the transportation center. I had taken a lot of care to be all pretty and girly that long weekend - applying more lipstick and freshening up each time we stopped by a ladies room. I made sure that my nails were done and totally cute - I can assure you.
So it was just an old habit....idly picking my nail polish off. Left over from teenage years like twisting my hair when a boy I liked came around - I didn't even think twice.
And when he looked over at me, gasped and said,"YOUR HANDS! YOUR NAILS! AH! What are you doing?" I just mumbled "I dunno." and thought that would be it.
But he stammered, and mumbled........about how nice my hands had looked, how beautiful my manicure was.....and said,"But you'll be sorry your nails weren't done........"
Now, that SHOULD have been a clue - don't you think?
But it wasn't...........and the next morning, when my feet were screaming from too much theme park and he insisted that we get to Magic Kingdom early, and that we run STRAIGHT AWAY to get mouse ears.......and that we HAD to get to the front of the castle and get our picture taken........well......
I dunno. I just thought "Wow, he's really getting on board with this whole touristy picture taking thing!"
And then the barbershop quartet came over, which seemed odd, and said they wanted to be in our picture. Which also was odd.
And then he did THIS.........
And just remember - everything will change. But Love Remains the Same.
So it was just an old habit....idly picking my nail polish off. Left over from teenage years like twisting my hair when a boy I liked came around - I didn't even think twice.
And when he looked over at me, gasped and said,"YOUR HANDS! YOUR NAILS! AH! What are you doing?" I just mumbled "I dunno." and thought that would be it.
But he stammered, and mumbled........about how nice my hands had looked, how beautiful my manicure was.....and said,"But you'll be sorry your nails weren't done........"
Now, that SHOULD have been a clue - don't you think?
But it wasn't...........and the next morning, when my feet were screaming from too much theme park and he insisted that we get to Magic Kingdom early, and that we run STRAIGHT AWAY to get mouse ears.......and that we HAD to get to the front of the castle and get our picture taken........well......
I dunno. I just thought "Wow, he's really getting on board with this whole touristy picture taking thing!"
And then the barbershop quartet came over, which seemed odd, and said they wanted to be in our picture. Which also was odd.
And then he did THIS.........
He chose Elvis's birthday so that we would always remember what day it was! So Happy Birthday To You Elvis! It's one of the Happiest Days of My Life.
And here, from Spinner - the 30 Coolest Things About Elvis.
And just remember - everything will change. But Love Remains the Same.
11 Years Ago Yesterday...(okay 8 Years Ago I can't Count)
...I stood idly picking my nail polish off, on a stalled Monorail between Epcot and the transportation center. I had taken a lot of care to be all pretty and girly that long weekend - applying more lipstick and freshening up each time we stopped by a ladies room. I made sure that my nails were done and totally cute - I can assure you.
So it was just an old habit....idly picking my nail polish off. Left over from teenage years like twisting my hair when a boy I liked came around - I didn't even think twice.
And when he looked over at me, gasped and said,"YOUR HANDS! YOUR NAILS! AH! What are you doing?" I just mumbled "I dunno." and thought that would be it.
But he stammered, and mumbled........about how nice my hands had looked, how beautiful my manicure was.....and said,"But you'll be sorry your nails weren't done........"
Now, that SHOULD have been a clue - don't you think?
But it wasn't...........and the next morning, when my feet were screaming from too much theme park and he insisted that we get to Magic Kingdom early, and that we run STRAIGHT AWAY to get mouse ears.......and that we HAD to get to the front of the castle and get our picture taken........well......
I dunno. I just thought "Wow, he's really getting on board with this whole touristy picture taking thing!"
And then the barbershop quartet came over, which seemed odd, and said they wanted to be in our picture. Which also was odd.
And then he did THIS.........
And just remember - everything will change. But Love Remains the Same.
So it was just an old habit....idly picking my nail polish off. Left over from teenage years like twisting my hair when a boy I liked came around - I didn't even think twice.
And when he looked over at me, gasped and said,"YOUR HANDS! YOUR NAILS! AH! What are you doing?" I just mumbled "I dunno." and thought that would be it.
But he stammered, and mumbled........about how nice my hands had looked, how beautiful my manicure was.....and said,"But you'll be sorry your nails weren't done........"
Now, that SHOULD have been a clue - don't you think?
But it wasn't...........and the next morning, when my feet were screaming from too much theme park and he insisted that we get to Magic Kingdom early, and that we run STRAIGHT AWAY to get mouse ears.......and that we HAD to get to the front of the castle and get our picture taken........well......
I dunno. I just thought "Wow, he's really getting on board with this whole touristy picture taking thing!"
And then the barbershop quartet came over, which seemed odd, and said they wanted to be in our picture. Which also was odd.
And then he did THIS.........
He chose Elvis's birthday so that we would always remember what day it was! So Happy Birthday To You Elvis! It's one of the Happiest Days of My Life.
And here, from Spinner - the 30 Coolest Things About Elvis.
And just remember - everything will change. But Love Remains the Same.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Thursday, January 01, 2009
So Where Is YOUR Second Furnace?
So we've had this issue for a few days. Downstairs the furnace is blowing cold air. Upstairs, toasty warm air spews forth. But downstairs - in the living, dining kitchen world........COLD AIR.
Perplexed, we went into the attic to take a look at the furnace.
Cuz we're homeowners now, and that is what you do. You walk up to to that furnace and you........
Look at it.
What we gleaned, was that the pilot light was on. Which was GOOD. The husband took the panel off, and we turned on the heat and watched the panel light up the way the book says it's supposed to.
So now what?
So we've been cold, and building fires in the fire place, and perplexed and annoyed - not sure what we're supposed to DO other than call an HVAC guy which is gonna be expensive.
Well then, at work, I'm telling my boss. And he says to me "Did you check your second furnace?" To which, I being a reasonable person, said "WHAT SECOND FURNACE?"
Then he proceeds to tell me that in GA - they put in a furnace FOR EACH FLOOR OF THE HOUSE. WHAT SORT OF MADNESS IS THIS?
We do not live in the arctic circle, requiring TWO massive heat sources to warm us from the freezing northern winds. We live in GEORGIA.
I call the husband at home, he pops off the cold air return downstairs - and the pipe goes DOWN.
Under our house,
Into our Crawl Space.
You heard me, they put our "second furnace" in our CRAWL SPACE.
Because it's so easy to change filters and other things, when something is in your CRAWL SPACE.
When I got home from work, he was the MAN of the family and shimmied across the length of our house TO the said second furnace, but because of where it is located and how small the area is - we were only able to confirm that YES, it is a furnace.
HVAC guy - have fun.
Until you get here, it's all Little House on the Prairie here - I got up this morning and gathered pine cones to get the fire going downstairs.
Think about this, last night I talked to people from Portland, Kentucky, Italy, Hong Kong and Japan online - and then this morning I GATHERED PINE CONES TO START A FIRE TO HEAT MY HOUSE.
Classic.
Perplexed, we went into the attic to take a look at the furnace.
Cuz we're homeowners now, and that is what you do. You walk up to to that furnace and you........
Look at it.
What we gleaned, was that the pilot light was on. Which was GOOD. The husband took the panel off, and we turned on the heat and watched the panel light up the way the book says it's supposed to.
So now what?
So we've been cold, and building fires in the fire place, and perplexed and annoyed - not sure what we're supposed to DO other than call an HVAC guy which is gonna be expensive.
Well then, at work, I'm telling my boss. And he says to me "Did you check your second furnace?" To which, I being a reasonable person, said "WHAT SECOND FURNACE?"
Then he proceeds to tell me that in GA - they put in a furnace FOR EACH FLOOR OF THE HOUSE. WHAT SORT OF MADNESS IS THIS?
We do not live in the arctic circle, requiring TWO massive heat sources to warm us from the freezing northern winds. We live in GEORGIA.
I call the husband at home, he pops off the cold air return downstairs - and the pipe goes DOWN.
Under our house,
Into our Crawl Space.
You heard me, they put our "second furnace" in our CRAWL SPACE.
Because it's so easy to change filters and other things, when something is in your CRAWL SPACE.
When I got home from work, he was the MAN of the family and shimmied across the length of our house TO the said second furnace, but because of where it is located and how small the area is - we were only able to confirm that YES, it is a furnace.
HVAC guy - have fun.
Until you get here, it's all Little House on the Prairie here - I got up this morning and gathered pine cones to get the fire going downstairs.
Think about this, last night I talked to people from Portland, Kentucky, Italy, Hong Kong and Japan online - and then this morning I GATHERED PINE CONES TO START A FIRE TO HEAT MY HOUSE.
Classic.
So Where Is YOUR Second Furnace?
So we've had this issue for a few days. Downstairs the furnace is blowing cold air. Upstairs, toasty warm air spews forth. But downstairs - in the living, dining kitchen world........COLD AIR.
Perplexed, we went into the attic to take a look at the furnace.
Cuz we're homeowners now, and that is what you do. You walk up to to that furnace and you........
Look at it.
What we gleaned, was that the pilot light was on. Which was GOOD. The husband took the panel off, and we turned on the heat and watched the panel light up the way the book says it's supposed to.
So now what?
So we've been cold, and building fires in the fire place, and perplexed and annoyed - not sure what we're supposed to DO other than call an HVAC guy which is gonna be expensive.
Well then, at work, I'm telling my boss. And he says to me "Did you check your second furnace?" To which, I being a reasonable person, said "WHAT SECOND FURNACE?"
Then he proceeds to tell me that in GA - they put in a furnace FOR EACH FLOOR OF THE HOUSE. WHAT SORT OF MADNESS IS THIS?
We do not live in the arctic circle, requiring TWO massive heat sources to warm us from the freezing northern winds. We live in GEORGIA.
I call the husband at home, he pops off the cold air return downstairs - and the pipe goes DOWN.
Under our house,
Into our Crawl Space.
You heard me, they put our "second furnace" in our CRAWL SPACE.
Because it's so easy to change filters and other things, when something is in your CRAWL SPACE.
When I got home from work, he was the MAN of the family and shimmied across the length of our house TO the said second furnace, but because of where it is located and how small the area is - we were only able to confirm that YES, it is a furnace.
HVAC guy - have fun.
Until you get here, it's all Little House on the Prairie here - I got up this morning and gathered pine cones to get the fire going downstairs.
Think about this, last night I talked to people from Portland, Kentucky, Italy, Hong Kong and Japan online - and then this morning I GATHERED PINE CONES TO START A FIRE TO HEAT MY HOUSE.
Classic.
Perplexed, we went into the attic to take a look at the furnace.
Cuz we're homeowners now, and that is what you do. You walk up to to that furnace and you........
Look at it.
What we gleaned, was that the pilot light was on. Which was GOOD. The husband took the panel off, and we turned on the heat and watched the panel light up the way the book says it's supposed to.
So now what?
So we've been cold, and building fires in the fire place, and perplexed and annoyed - not sure what we're supposed to DO other than call an HVAC guy which is gonna be expensive.
Well then, at work, I'm telling my boss. And he says to me "Did you check your second furnace?" To which, I being a reasonable person, said "WHAT SECOND FURNACE?"
Then he proceeds to tell me that in GA - they put in a furnace FOR EACH FLOOR OF THE HOUSE. WHAT SORT OF MADNESS IS THIS?
We do not live in the arctic circle, requiring TWO massive heat sources to warm us from the freezing northern winds. We live in GEORGIA.
I call the husband at home, he pops off the cold air return downstairs - and the pipe goes DOWN.
Under our house,
Into our Crawl Space.
You heard me, they put our "second furnace" in our CRAWL SPACE.
Because it's so easy to change filters and other things, when something is in your CRAWL SPACE.
When I got home from work, he was the MAN of the family and shimmied across the length of our house TO the said second furnace, but because of where it is located and how small the area is - we were only able to confirm that YES, it is a furnace.
HVAC guy - have fun.
Until you get here, it's all Little House on the Prairie here - I got up this morning and gathered pine cones to get the fire going downstairs.
Think about this, last night I talked to people from Portland, Kentucky, Italy, Hong Kong and Japan online - and then this morning I GATHERED PINE CONES TO START A FIRE TO HEAT MY HOUSE.
Classic.
