A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.
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Tuesday, January 20, 2015

How a Mom of Four Works Out

First of all you have to move the rocking horse, Hug Me Elmo and sundry Hot Wheels out of the way. Next I ask the twelve year old to work the PS4 so I can use the DVD. Turn on the work out I want to do, and begin. It goes like this.


  • Oldest son gets out trumpet and begins to play.
  • Instructor gives slow motion jab - cross motions
  • Miles runs up behind me and grabs my butt
  • Begin working out, shake off Miles and try to shut out background noise
  • Hear Julia say "I hate that sound that trumpet IS TOO LOUD"
  • Ignore, focus, step step jab step step jab
  • Louis says "Mom I can't focus, Charlie is pooping."
  • Ignore, Cross punch, cross, punch
  • Julia starts whining about the noise - I yell at everyone to leave me alone and promise to deal with Charlie in 18 minutes
  • Louis says "BUT HOW CAN I BREATHE THROUGH MY NOSE WHEN ALL I SMELL IS POOP"
  • Step Step kick jab step step kick jab
  • Julia brings her crayons and coloring books to the living room angrily
  • "MOM YOU KICKED MY CRAYONS!" 
  • I announce that everyone who isn't Charlie has to leave the living room now 
  • Side kick jab side kick jab
  • Julia arrives back in the living room and puts two q-tips in her ears to protest the noise
  • Hook, Jab, Hook, Jab, Hook jab, Back Kick, Side Kick
  • "Moom I HATE THE NOISE MAKE HIM STOP PLAYING THE TRUMPET"
  • "MOM CHARLIE IS GROSSING ME OUT"
  • Oh god did she just say Capoeira? Step step back step step back jab...
  • Hook Jab Step Step Hook Jab Step Step
  • "Mom, are you dance fighting?"
  • No
  • "Is there such a thing as dance fighting?"
I don't even know...
Oh, apparently there is.

1 comments:

Cassie said...

Or....you go out to your garage at 5 am (BTW it's 25 degrees outside), put on ear warmers and pop in DVD. Sweat and curse for 30 minutes. Awaken so sore the next day that you curse again just getting out of bed. Loved your post.