A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.
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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Have You Noticed That It's MY Phone ?


I've noticed something weird.

We used to say "The Phone". As in "Answer the phone."

No one says that anymore. I guess it's because we're all on cell phones now, even if you're like us and have that antique item - the HOME PHONE. The husband and I each have "our" phone and I'm sure sooner rather than later the oldest boy will have "his" phone.

MY PHONE.

HIS PHONE.

When I was in middle school my dad got me my own phone line. I thought it was fairly amazing. MY OWN PHONE LINE. His reasons for doing this weren't really that fatherly. He was a bail bondsman an needed the phone to do business. So getting me a simple phone line let me yack on the phone to my friends and he could call the families of drunks and whores to arrange payment of bail.

So I'd say "This is my phone number." And that was like being a freaking super star.

But now, everyone has their OWN phone with their own phone number. I realized it of course a long time ago but then when listening to Bruno Mars the other day, I realized he's saying "Don't feel like picking up MY phone..." and I went dude....

no one says THE PHONE.

It's like saying WWW before a web address.

I think it's gone.

I've decided not to care much.

I do however, want iPhone to make one like THIS!



Because THAT is what I'd like for MY phone.

In an iPhone.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

I Dedicate Today's Victory to Bobby Meaux...

...because he would've thought it was great.

That's all. RIP 5191.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Planned Obsolescence Of A Rose


I noticed this bud on Saturday and took a picture every day on my way out to meet the bus.

Except today, it went from blooming to dying in the course of the day.




I took the pic on the left as I was waiting for school buses. The middle pic on my way to work, and the last pic when I got home.

That was quick.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Consignment Sale WIN

Ok I totally considered this. I didn't buy it cuz you know, I'm not sure I should wear a jacket that says FAT in huge letters but, this thing is the shiz.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Sometimes I Wonder


Are we the only family that shouts "ITS A TRAP" at the screen like Admiral Ackbar at opportune moments in film and TV?


Define "LUXURY"

So my hubby has a doctor appointment this A.M. which is why I'm home. My initial thought was WOOT I can go back to bed after the boys go to school!
But then, it occurred to me.....all the THINGS I could do with them gone.
Such as, I could have a cup of coffee without a seven year old drinking nearly the whole cup - and sobbing "I WANT COFFEE" any time I was drinking.
I could take a shower. I could take a shower without a seven year old standing in front of the mirror in front of me singing "Who let the H out HA HA HA ! Who let the I out ih ih ih ih" and so on. I could also dry off, and slather up with lotion without an 8 year old coming in to cover in depth every alien that was present as The Doctor was dragged into the Pandorica.
I could, after slathering up with lotion, walk around naked while it soaked in without the same 8 year old pontificating about the strategic values of Imperial Star Destroyers vs. Republic Battle Cruisers.
I could then get dressed, at my leisure and sit down at the computer.
I would not have seven year olds demanding to get on my lap, screaming because they were hungry, screaming because someone on TV was counting, screaming because a door closed and made a clicky noise, screaming because who knows why. There would be no conversations on how much a Lego Imperial Walker costs on Amazon.
I could come in here, put the baby in her pack n play, turn on Bob the Builder......
and write.

I wonder what I should write about?

Monday, August 15, 2011

I Swear My Kids Won't Ever Do Tricks

video


Sunday, August 14, 2011

The One Where The Boy Plays Football

So it was JAMBOREE this weekend. What that means is, there were cheerleaders and we all went out and the boys played football. It's exactly like last weekend, except there are cheerleaders. Last weekend we called it "scrimmage". This weekend we called it JAMBOREE and I guess we were supposed to be more excited.
They only played half a game and we won because we've got some mega athlete on the team who just runs into the endzone and scores every time the ball touches him. (Seriously he's like one of the top rated running backs in the country in his age group, it's nuts.)

Look at these fools double teaming my boy. Seriously, you guys are double teaming the nose tackle. Lol. Well - we're figuring he's so big, that they just freak out and go for him because it seems to keep happening.

I think the best part of jamboree might've been the ice cream after.

It was still pretty early in the day so we sent to BABYLAND GENERAL up north to see what was happening with those Cabbage Patch babies.


They have Cabbage Patch Warhol's which I thought was pretty cool.
The kids however were less than interested.


I am still not in love with the NEW Babyland General but, it's fun to stop by once in a while. And the kids definitely like it.


Miles is enamored of babies these days, so he's a huge fan.



But the real star of my day yesterday was this guy. He overcame his fear and nervousness and got out there and kicked some butt. Great Job big guy. I knew you could do it.



Friday, August 12, 2011

THE THING In My Shower


So the husband has indicated to me that he might find it agreeable if I were to shave my legs.

More than annually.

To this end, he's purchased me a new razor and some girly smelling plumeria girl shower-shave gel. I am all FOR girly smelling things, so I could hardly resist such an inviting idea as using it - even if it DID involve shaving.

Thus there I am, bent slightly at the waist, giving the calves a good scraping with delicious smells wafting all about me (combo - Pantene, plumeria shave gel, Bath & Body works Swept Away body gel) when something above my head goes THUMP BONK.......

and then something landed on my back.

Something big, and wet, and.....big. As I stood up suddenly I bonk my head on the shower caddy which seems to have moved and the thing on my back slithers down and goes PLOP on the floor of the shower.

It's a wash cloth.

The shower caddy had slipped down the shower nozzle a bit, and the wash cloth had fallen off to the nearest thing below it - my back.

I laughed, until I realized I had cut the crap out of my leg with my new razor when I jumped.

I was so shaken, however - the next thing I did was slather a huge handful of apricot scrub...into my hair.

Not the most relaxing shower I've had recently.

I kinda wish it had been THE THING. Kurt Russel could've saved me.

Remember When?

The oldest boy says "Remember when we used to go to the park all the time and take nature walks?"



I do remember. That period of time was called "unemployment". It's funny though, that was just us trying to get the kids out of the house to do something free and to him it was this great time, this memory of something awesome we used to do.


To me it reminds me of being broke, having nothing and worrying how we were ever going to survive.

We still go to parks, just less because there are other things to do.

I have to admit though, it is fun walking through the heavy Georgia woods and looking for mushrooms like we used to. We even found a few cool ones to show.


Yeah I remember when.

I guess it wasn't all bad after all.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

So We Went To Six Flags





Oh my god it was hot. It was Africa hot. I mean, I know I live in the South and all, fiddle-dee-dee someone bring me a sweet tea before I get dewy and all, but OH GOD.

It's HOT HERE. And there is not nice breeze off of the Gulf of Mexico to cool you off. It's way hotter here than Tampa, I've decided.

Don't believe the girl's hat btw - it says LOVE2RIDE and she did not. I think I can fairly assess that she didn't love ANYTHING we rode. Not even the Monster Mansion which is supposed to be littler person friendly despite the name.

I got sucked into driving a go-kart as well. The oldest boy wanted to do go-karts and he was just shy of being big enough to drive. Dad has arthritis so guess who that left? Me. Ugh. It wasn't that bad and was actually FUN once we got going but omg, fat mom stuffed into a go-kart with her bad hips waiting for the thing to start? Not fun.

I am fairly sure this was Charlie's favorite moment of the day, when we stopped in a shop and he found a rubber snake.


We have learned since that the rubber snake is one of his favorite toys at school.


We also learned this trip that Six Flags doesn't have Thomas The Tank Engine land and play area any more it's just some random train themed area. It was sweet, we were there last fall. I'm kind of disappointed. But you know, slides and play area = happy little guys.




All in all though,I think we learned that spring and fall are better times for this crew to go. One kid threw up and the rest of us spent the day exhausted and sweating to death.

Six Flags, you are tougher than we are. See you in the fall.



Wednesday, August 03, 2011

I Am Not Saying My Feet Stink But...

So, I have these MaryJanes that I wear every day to work. 99.9999999% of the time, without socks. I'm an 80s girl we like MaryJanes.

The husband says - omg put odor eaters in your shoes THEY STINK.

So I oblige. I've worn them before. I know how this works. I cut them to size, slip them in and wear them a couple of days - and then - they start balling up inside my shoe after I've had them on a couple of hours.

This is driving me nuts.

I go to look at them this morning and realize, they shrank.

They fit inside my shoe perfectly when I put them in and now they are visibly SMALLER than when I put them in.

My powerful foot stink has beaten Odor Eaters.

I'm not entire sure I should be proud of this.

Our New Christian Rock Album Cover

It's been a while since we made a new one. It's harder, because according to Eric Cartman's rules you are supposed to have three people in the art but, what can I say, it's a family of four kids now.

The girl didn't quite get the idea of being all serious business though.



Clearly she doesn't know Eric Cartman's rules.