A Mommy Blog About Raising Men, Not Boys.
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Friday, April 16, 2010

There Is No Dignity in Labor and Delivery

Two nights ago I had some very lovely real deal contractions and after an hour of them, we whisked off the to hospital - convinced go time had arrived.
When I got back to triage - there was a nurse waiting for me with a big grin "You must be Bridgette -HI! I'm Kimberly's mom!"
Kimberly is my good friend from where I used to work.
So at first, I was like, OH HAI cool....someone who kinda knows me.

Here is what I didn't factor in. Her next statement:"Ok let's check your cervix."

I'm serious man. Did you ever meet someone's parent for the first time only to have them reach into your lady parts not ten minutes later and dig for your cervix? No? NOR SHOULD YOU. It's so feckin undignified.

I mean, I didn't even care at the time, I didn't process it till later because once you've had babies you know that no modesty and no dignity are part of the process when the contractions start. But still. HOW SURREAL.

The contractions slacked, slowed, got far far less on the magic machine that reads them and then the doctor got out of surgery and SHE came for a dig in my vag - ruled me dilated to two but not progressing so sent me home.

So I'm home. I'm doing pre-op today which I am sure will be hella good times right. I'll be meeting with anethesiology and beating them in the head about the drugs I want. ALL OF THE FUCKING DRUGS- JUST WRITE DOWN ALL OF THE FUCKING DRUGS.

For now we wait.......and I just hope that we wait till Monday.......because some nutball hit my husband yesterday with her car - which is in itself another WHOLE blog post........

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